Sunday, November 28, 2010

It's a Disaster Poster (with Key!!!)

Hey, I put together this poster for  Check it out at the link here.
You can purchase a print here...

Hope you like it! And of course you are entitled to your opinions.  Some of these films I love, but they're still total shit.  ;)

and yes, I know the work of Tyler Stout.  He's very talented, and he and Martin Ansin were both inspirations for this.  My first email to Annalee said something along the lines of "a Tyler Stoutish Poster" But I've also been doing things like this for quite a while, lest you think I'm flat out nicking their shit.

-Garrison Dean

p.s. Yes. It's hyperbole in it's highest form.  Sure some of these are worse than others but I've heard people cry about all of them at some point.. hence.  "It's a Disaster"

Sunday, November 14, 2010

New Trailer!!! Faster: The Rampage Trailer

The Rock is awesome.  Truly the heir to the action stars of yore.  Sadly, he went on and did his "Jingle All the Way" before his Commando, his "Stop or my Mom Will Shoot" before his Rambo or Cobra, and in the case of Southland Tales, his "Breakfast of Champions" before his Die Hard. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't give him a shot right?  All I can really say is... IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I CAN SAY!! WATCH THIS DAMN TRAILER!!!


Friday, November 05, 2010

Dell, TATI reference?! I must say, I'm impressed.

I recently built my own computer, which has freed me from the shackles of buying one from Dell, but I have to hand it to them on this ad for their Tablet/Smartphone "The Streak". I saw this the other night and while it isn't the snappiest ad ever,  I give them MASSIVE amounts of credits for referencing, or ripping off, one of my favorite films of all time... Playtime.

Monday, August 23, 2010

If he's good enough for Sally Draper...

I've been wanting to do a little post on this guy for a while, and last night's Mad Men was as good motivation as any.  If you happened to watch it then you may have been mildly surprised (shocked) by the remarkably subtle (and because of it's subtleness actually more shocking) scene where Don's daughter Sally really enjoyed The Man from U.N.C.L.E. at a sleepover.

But what many may not know is that the man who played Russian spy Illya Kurakin, David McCallum (you may know him more recently from NCIS), had a brief musical career as well.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Expendables... a half great movie

Ok, as I am a man of my word I did go see "The Expendables" this weekend.  For starters HOORAY MEN!!! Eat Pray Love, ate it, and Scott Pilgrim's took on the world... and lost.  I think the only people who saw it were Ramona's 7 exes.

That said... The Expendables.  What a treat.  But where it could've been a balls out insane throwback film, and at points it is, it honestly plays it a little safe.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I love you Disgruntled/Bored Comcast OnDemand Summary Guy

I've posted some of these here before but this one really may take the cake.  This is not Photoshopped.


Friday, August 13, 2010

Stupid Facebook

Yes, I have begrudgingly joined the throngs of people on Facebook.  If you must be my friend, and you should I'm really a terrific guy,  then find me there.  And yes I'll be your friend, so have no fear of rejection.

I'm only saying this because I'll admit its easier to post things there than it is to create a whole blog entry.  I'll still do stuff here, the detailed posts with the arts and the musics and the goofings off, but there you run a better chance of seeing whatever random shit pops into my head all day long.  And photos I take with my new camera whilst bored like The Monarch chewing out Admiral Ackbar.

I really like my new camera.


Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Music pt. 2

For all the love I just gave to Andrew W.K. I'd be remiss if I left out the other brilliant music from the trailer. It is "Refused" off their classic album "The Shape of Punk to Come".

Kids today must feel that partying hard and being awesome is a detriment.

By now I'm hoping you all have seen my Expendables trailer, but in case you haven't here ya go!

It's really getting a terrific response, and I thank you all.  There is one thing that worries me.  I'm worried that I will need to develop a 2nd call to arms.  One to rally people together to go save a bunch of men out there.

You see, I think there is a small, but vocal portion of society trapped in a disturbing parallel universe.  A place where Andrew W.K. is considered (but not limited to): girly, not manly, emo, faggy, not hard enough, teen punky... shall I go on?  This must be a truly disturbing place indeed, as in our universe Andrew W.K. is clearly a pillar of awesomeness and honorable manliness. (read more)

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Firefly Intro

Just a little something I created for  Turned out rather well I think.

the io9 link as well, which explains why this HAD TO BE DONE!!!


When was the last time you were that excited?

I don't normally put stuff of the critter (or myself for that matter) up on the blog, but had to here.  This is the fam at the Zoo and the look on my little lady's face when she sees a giraffe looking at her from about 10 feet away.  And no, she's not crying, she's just that damned happy.


Sunday, July 04, 2010

Sometimes you need a little (ok, a lot of) melodrama in your music.

HURTS - Wonderful Life

I really can't get enough of this EP, can't wait for the LP.
 Basically if Joy Division, George Michael, Tears for Fears, Robbie Williams, the Pet Shop Boys, and Klaus Nomi all gang banged Kate Bush, this is the child they would've had.  Basically, however you think the duo above would sound based on that photo... is pretty much how they sound.  Pretentious? A bit... but they're from Manchester so what do you expect?

The below is one of the "big sounds" songs.
HURTS - Silver Lining

Video... a more "dancy" song than the others, but still terrific.  Download the song free from their site.


Saturday, June 26, 2010


So, I have a pretty steadfast rule when visiting record stores.  Depending on the time allowed to me I can meander through the aisles endlessly. But, to avoid frantic grabbing of anything if I'm in a buying mood, or just to know I don't have to search through all the stacks, I have developed what I call... The Walk Away Record.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I don't know why, but I just felt compelled to post this.

Sometimes the internet shows you things that are beyond words.

I mean, I know why the kids think its funny, but WHY DO THE KIDS THINK IT'S FUNNY??!?!


Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Big Drawn Butter Jesus or... Terminator Jesus.

I'll thank my brother for this one.  He lives in Cincinnati and long ago pointed out to me as we drove past (probably to Jungle Jim's an AWESOME grocery store) the Big Butter Jesus.  An enormous sculpture of a touchdown Jesus built by some dude and apparently funded by mob money (or some crazy story like that).  BUT, last night they had some wicked storms blow through and lightning struck the, what I've been told was, fiberglass and styrofoam statue and now all that's left is the skeleton.  They are now referring to it as Terminator Jesus, which really is like way better.  (click through for the current insane version)

Sunday, June 13, 2010

House Hunting

Hey.  So, me and the missus have been looking for houses for a while now and occasionally we come across some that are just too damned awesome.  We've been in Seattle for a couple years now coming up from LA and originally we only saw the small little Crafstman houses that populate the landscape but now that we're deep in the house hunt we have come across some magnificent gems of modern and midcentury modern architecture.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Watch this, get it views I order you!!!

Long story... but watch this.  Will post addendum to it in due time, many thanks. But damn those holes look good!!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Mash-ups dead?

Yeah, probably.  Especially after they were the soundtrack for a lengthy fight scene in Iron Man 2.  There wasn't really anything wrong with the song, DJ AM god rest his soul has never really been a fave of mine but whatever.  The scene was fine too (I enjoyed it anyways), but that kind of mainstream exposure is sure to pat down the remaining dirt on the grave of any underground cultural movement.  That said, I think they'll always be fun to hear when done well and everyone loves a nice long good DJ mix.

Friday, May 07, 2010

Ummmm... Awesome??!!?

I can only assume as the movie draws closer we'll get a browser light cycle game.  Which would be good news, cause if the Space Paranoids game is this good, and even the shittiest Light Cycle knock off from the past 20 years has been good, we're in for a treat.


Saturday, April 03, 2010


Boy you gotta love it when the onscreen graphics person drops the ball on local television.  That or the Religious Right really doesn't fuck around with scandals anymore.


An Easter listening recommendation from The Coolest Person on the Internet

I'll do a full post sometime about the brilliant producer and composer named David Axelrod (no relation that I know of to the White House Senior Advisor).  But for now I want to share with you a little snippet of his music.  He is known for his soulful and funky orchestral arrangements and compositions and this album is no exemption. Even if you know of David Axelrod this one may have slipped past you as it often gets lumped in with his experimental work.  It may be an experiment, but it is by no means a tough listen, or weird album along the lines of some of his work with The Electric Prunes or his album Earth Rot.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Two things I hadn't heard of last month that I now love.

Maybe I'm getting out of touch in my old age but occasionally things slip past me.  Recently thanks to the invaluable spirit of browsing I discovered two things that by all intensive purposes I should've known of or experiences, but hadn't.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Stellar recommendation Netflix.

Kind of blew my mind when I saw it on my page.

This should be next to the definition of juxtaposition.  Though it could make a terrific Double Feature.


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Joy Rich Directors Cut

So, sometimes things go a little off the rails a little too late and you really do have to pay heed to the man holding the purse.  But that isn't to say that you aren't proud of what came before.  For any curious, this is what ate up most of January for me, and why I've been a little absent.  Well, that and the little one.  Click through to Vimeo for the HD version and the credits.

Asked for a 90's look and inspired by 80's elements like Breakin' and Buckaroo Banzai, I think for what it was we really hit the mark.

Music is Shadowplay by Mark Shreeve.  Check out this site for "more information".


Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Everything about this is awesome.

And everyone should go pick up whatever they can by Sebastien Tellier.  He's fantastic.

EDIT- And that's why YouTube can eat all the dicks. And why I'm on Vimeo.


Friday, January 29, 2010

I guess the economic crisis is over!!!

Honestly, I would if I could.


Hee hee hee... Love it.

A: It's hilarous
B: Technically it's tricky
C: Only the Dutch would use a bipartisan relief effort for one of the worst human disasters of all time as a chance to pick on Dubbya.



Thursday, January 21, 2010

When you're burned, you've got Nuffin!

Yes I realize it is the #1 show on Cable, but just in case you aren't watching it make sure to tune in tonight to the season premiere of Burn Notice on USA.  It is really one of the best shows on.  It's the perfect mix of all the shows you loved as a kid, A-Team, Equalizer, Knight Rider, MacGyver, Dukes of Hazzard, combined with the skill and maturity that has come from recent TV.  And speaking as someone who watches a lot of heavy and serious shows, this one is refreshing because it's just fun.

 I was fiddling around with this illustration a while ago as a test for some textures and it's as good as I'll probably get it because I lost the drive to finish it. But I'm happy with it.


Monday, January 11, 2010

#2 Movie Computer Cliche that bugs the shit out of me.

Thanks to Rocketless for the video (brilliant film) above in the "Enhance" Post.  It allows me to elaborate briefly on another computer related thing that drives me crazy in films.

People typing to operate a computer.

 They've been doing it for 30 years now and while it may have made since then, we now have a little thing called a mouse.  Oh, to be sure I'm typing now, but that's because I'm writing.  If I had to say... close Chrome, open After Effects, import a file, drag it to the project window and then export, I think I could do that all without touching the keyboard.  Because I live in the real world.  Not so in movies where it is all typey typey and no mousey mousey.

Perhaps now I'll get around to making a cool vid like whoever that guy was who did the enhance vid to show you what I mean (I won't) but in the mean time I hope I've brought this to your attention so now it bugs the holy hell out of you too.


Friday, January 08, 2010

Hi, I'm Teri. I may look like a member of the Runaways, but I can recite Starfleet Regulations while we do it.


JJ Abrams made Star Trek as cool as it will probably get, but that's not like it hasn't been tried before.  Please, someone mail that to that address and let me know if they send you one of these jackets because they are amazing.  Plus it is PERFECT for me because when I do leave the house it's only to go to the Disco, Comic-Con, SyFy Parties or School Activities.

In case you're wondering... for Christmas my brother got me some old issues of "Future" magazine which is pretty much the print form of io9, only from 30 years ago.  He finds these things because he lives in Cincinnati where no one buys anything that I like.  Want to find that rare vinyl you've been looking? Cinci has it and they have it for cheap.  Looking for that Labbit that you thought could only be found on ebay?  They have two and no one is buying.  I think their entire economy revolves around bourbon, cigarettes, and Reds gear.  Oh and anything Ocho Cinco. (best book cover ever)  Anyways...  The magazines are fucking amazing.  I'll try to put a couple things up when I find something interesting.  There is another item of clothing I'll put up tomorrow. The picture isn't as awesome but if you can believe it it blows these jackets out of the sky.


Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Nothing sets me off in movies as much as this lazy plot device.

Blade Runner is the only one I let slide because it seems that the Esper and its photos seem particularly designed for it.  And to make that scene they had to shoot hundreds of photos to achieve the effect.


Monday, January 04, 2010

Buh. whu. um. siiigh. My Avatar review.

As a proud new papa I've had to make certain concessions with my life. The biggest means far far fewer films in actual theaters, more Blu-Ray. That of course means that when I do decide to see a film it has to be something deserving of it. Something I'm really excited for, and/or something that if it is to be seen, needs to be seen on a big screen. And Avatar was that movie.

Now I had some trepidation the second I saw the Papyrus font logo, and then the blue people, but this is James Cameron!!! Aside from Titanic and that crummy James Bond deconstruction/parody with Tom Arnold, and all those IMAX sea docs that I didn't see, he's never made a movie I didn't love! I also have never been super big on the headache involved in previous 3D generations, but because I do stuff for the innernet the nice people at AVTR (coke) sent me a free pair of really nice 3D glasses to ensure that I was seeing this the way it was meant to be seen.

So after the holidays and after our friends were gracious enough to watch the little one for a Sunday afternoon, we went to experience the event that is... AVATAR.

I'll nitpick more in a moment, but the blurb review is this, Avatar is the cinematic equivalent of a Drive-thru-Tree. It's set in a forest, it looks really cool, you don't see many things like it, it took time and care to make, and it's a mildly diverting novelty, but ultimately you can see exactly where you're headed and it's totally pointless.

I wanted it to be good. I wanted to not care that it was Dances With Wolves on another planet. But I'd be buggered if I cared one bit about anything that was happening through the whole movie. Every time some phenomenally beautiful spectacle came up, or I noticed just how lifelike the Naavi looked (my wife thought it was make-up not CG), it just made me angry that such skill and talent was going to waste on soulless and done to death story.

Right from the get-go you're handed a gigantic bag of ham handed plot points that for any other film would derail it in the eyes of any critic and most viewers. I have no idea why they're all being so kind to this one.

Imagine if you will if Avatar was a sequel and the first film was about the scientists creating the Avatars. They've worked long and hard to create these remote controlled biological wonders, but the one catch is that they are genetically coded to one individual. Then, at the climax of the film the hero scientist, the handsome Thomas gets killed right before they ship off to Pandora! Oh no! What a dilema... but don't worry, he has AN IDENTICAL TWIN WHO IS A RECENTLY PARALYZED MARINE and he's be perfect to step in and replace him!!! You would throw your soda at the screen and walk out because that is one step up from "IT was all a dream the whole time!". I think it would look a little like this...

So, imagine that ending and realize it is the beginning of this film. That is the road they send you on and they stick hard to that road. I don't need much logic in my films but at least pretend to try.

Why is he a twin? Wouldn't the film be just as good if he was the scientist joining the Naavi learning to hunt? Or, if he was a Marine all along saddled with the scientists to keep them straight?

Why is the character paralyzed? I understand the plot point of him maybe getting his legs back, but by the time the general throws that bone at him it's not even a choice anymore because he's so gaga over the Blue Lady.

How do they "lose" him in the jungle the first trip out? Cameron, you created the concept of motion sensors for Aliens that has been ripped off more times than I can think of. You mean to tell me they created these bodies from scratch with no GPS locator? My fucking dog has a microchip in it for crying out loud!

They have spaceships equipped with cryo units (awesome), huge walking Mechs (sorry District 9 really kicked your ass on that one), super huge hover-ships (again awesome), ungodly amounts of ammo and guns, but no long range artillery? You have to literally fly right over the "God Tree" and drop pallets of explosives on it?

Again, I don't usually nitpick, I really enjoyed both Transformers 2 and GI Joe for crying out loud (but neither of them are, nor will ever be, on anyone's best list) but Avatar was one overlong missed opportunity. Less time touching plants (We get it. they glow) and more time with the community learning why the Naavi are so wonderful. All we saw them do was yell, fight, and meditate. I wouldn't have even minded the done to death scenes of him playing with Naavi kids, making food with the women. Hell, make it a montage set to "My Heart Will Go On", lord knows the rest of the film was (Horner, I'm looking in your direction). The evil General might as well have been played by a gigantic Green Army Man figure for all the depth he had. One, ONE! scene of him torturing, or at least being mean to a captured Naavi would've made him a villain. Instead he was an unethical dick doing his job. And speaking of unethical dicks... Giovanni Ribisi I actually enjoyed. But I feel that Cameron missed a real chance to do something technically challenging and digitally insert Paul Reiser from Aliens in that role as they were pretty much the exact same character.

The only time I felt any true emotion was when Jakesulley ditched his own personal dragon with whom he had a biological bond with for the giant dragon. Poor little dude got ditched and was never seen again. 15 minutes were spent on Sully getting that first dragon only to say sayanora to it the first chance he gets. Oh and on the topic of the dragons... is anything in nature that conspicuous and still alive?

I could go on, but I'm just wasting breath at that point. I know there are worse films out there, but few are wrapped in such a glorious package. That is why I feel so betrayed. Such skill, technology, talent, artistry used to create such a cold, forced, boring mess pretending to be a rousing heart filled socially conscious film. If you haven't, go out and read Maria Doria Russell's book "The Sparrow". While I realize it is far from as family friendly as Avatar, it also tells the tale of humans on another planet dealing with foreign races locked in their own ecological struggle and the part humans play in it. Then think of what a phenomenal film could have been made from that story with this team, and $300 Million, then go and weep a little.

I'll end with this. Go see it for the 3D but know that the 3D is the only depth this film has. Oh and thanks for the Glasses, they fit perfectly and will get much use from other Real D stuff in the future because it really did look amazing.

Now, on the topic of 3D... Who's ready for TR2N!?!?!? I could give a fig if that has a plot and I hope to god everything in that film is iridescent.