Being too cheap/poor to pay for movie channels on our cable I often troll through the Free HD Movies section in our OnDemand. So last night as there was nothing on and all I really wanted to do was play Borderlands but that would bore the wife. [side note: still at the beginning but Borderlands is a lot of fun already] So we checked out all the new flicks in OnDemand. There is a bunch of horror stuff which I'll get to at some point like Hostel 2. Didn't really like Hostel 1, but I do love boobs... sooooo anyways... One of the movies was called The Order of the Black Eagle and was described as such: Hitler is still alive and a British Spy is tasked with traveling to South America to stop Neo Nazi organization from helping is rise.
Now, if I were the space between two buildings that connects major streets a movie like that would be right up me. It's tough to fuck up a Hitler is still alive story so I was curious how I'd never heard of this. The movie was via the Impact channel which always prefaces it's films ratings with goofy fake ratinigs. This had Kn: for Killing Nazis Cg: for cool gadgets (or something) and then there was Ms: for Monkey Sidekick... I thought they were kidding. They weren't.
The film is basically some Michael Bolton look-alike running around poorly mic'd rooms with his Baboon sidekick who's main talent is giving people the "Hey, up yours!" fist gesture. I can only assume they couldn't afford to train him to raise his middle finger. I'm not even mentioning the horrible effects, sets, acting, stereotypical Arab dude, Bad guy who is not Orson Welles, the fact that it was produced by "Polo Players LTD" and the fact that I only made it to the 22 min mark before I gave up. Yeah.. me I gave up, thats how bad it was. Don't believe me? Here is a screen shot I grabbed.
Unbeliveable. How this gets transfered to HD for OnDemand (seriously.. I don't think it was ever released on DVD) and I still can't get Star Wars on Blu-ray is a crying shame.