Decision 08 just got tougher.

Hrmmm, Barack's energy plan vs. Greenzo?



Wedding stuff to come. never fear.

Once more... With feeling. And make that feeling anger please

So last week on the sites that I frequent, the buzz was all about a new Hulk trailer. They called it the Hulk "Awaken" Trailer. Now, what it turned out to be was another lack luster blah, Hulk ad with Ed Norton looking anxious, and CG Green Ed Norton running around for a splash wreckin shit. Everyone was all atwitter because it referenced the old TV show. Whatever. Cool I guess. But for me, I saw the word "Awaken" with the Hulk and mistakenly got excited that it was going to be a trailer for the Hulk that used the most Brutal fictional cartoon band EVAR, Dethklok.

I was wrong.

So I said, fuck it and did it myself. How ya like them apples.. them, greeen apples. Basically I broke down the trailers I could get a hold of and built them back up to match Dethklok's Awaken. It took a little more editing than you would think. Then I needed to fill more time so I said oooh, I can use Into the Water, which is my favorite song. It worked quite nicely. Then I tossed in some graphics that I really should've spent more time on (I like my Man, Nature, Science bit, feel free to nik that Universal) and sent it out to hopefully get more people excited for this film. Ultimately its really a 1st or 2nd draft, but what the hell, its the internet who friggin cares.

Sabine, who I dont think had much interest in seeing it before, now wants to see it. So it's worked for one person. Thats a start. Please to enjoy...

Just do it. I did.

Yeah it's a lot of money... but that Tax reimbursement's gotta go somewhere. Do it for Dubbya.

Palpatine for President: Or my new reason for Hating the Sequels.

Lately I have been wasting far, far too much time on a newish Gawker site called io9. io9 exists in that perfect not to hot, not too cold bowl of online porridge. Dealing with the wonderful world of Sci-Fi it never gets bogged down with the scandals and punditry of real news and the entertainment world, and it does it all with a sense of pride, fun and understanding deserving of good, old school nerds. Best of all, it is a bit lighter on the snark. They also have the usual area for me to voice my elegant opinion because I love the sound of my own voice.

Recently on the site, in this election year, there have been several polls dealing with Science Fiction and real world politics. Who's facist regime would you live under, what villain would make the best president, and so on. Understandably Star Wars rears its pretty head regularly, being somewhat of a gold standard in the world of SciFi. It has gotten me thinking. Senator, now Emperor Palpatine's Empire may have been the best of several evils.



When I was a child you could get no cooler than Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, and Han Solo. These 3 with grit, determination, and a wonderful invisible power called the force defeated a nasty horrible faceless villain hell bent on destruction and limitless power. Our hero Luke's journey was that much more difficult because Darth Vader (spoiler alert), the cold emotionless villain, was his father. He had to save and sacrifice his own blood for the good of the universe. Amazing. It even had Ewoks, who I will never apologize for because they are awesome. If you hate them, you hate them because they are small and cute. So you might as well hate other small and cute things like puppies, Dunnys and Little People. Hating little people is like hating black people ergo.. if you hate Ewoks, you're a racist shit.

Where was I? Ah yes. All of this wonder existed in a glorious universe conjured up by Lucas from his vast knowledge of mythology and literary archtypes. Taking cues from Joseph Campbell each character from R2D2 to Nien Numb existed to fill a specific purpose in his re-imagining of a time tested tale. We knew Luke was good simply because he was our main character, we knew Darth Vader was bad because he wore black (and choked people). We knew Han was a trustworthy rogue because he wore a vest. Knowing these simple unspoken truths made this a tale that sank into the public's heart for 20 years and never left. I only had trouble with the word Rebel. I didn't understand how they could be Rebels, and be good, when in all the states right below me in MD, rebel meant "people who fought the north and wanted slaves". Then I grew up. My love for the films never swayed, but the story changed, and it got me thinking... The Jedi had to go.

Now before I go on I don't want anybody bringing in arguments and plot points from the god-damn expanded universe. Star Wars begins and ends with the moving image. Yeah, that means that to me "Life Day" holds more sway than "The Sith Era" or "KOTOR". If it didn't happen on a screen that I couldn't contol... it didn't happen as far as I'm concerned.

The problem came with the prequels. Lucas began to take his mythology and explain it. Political posturing, midiclorians, trade disagreements, senate hearings. They had Terrence bloody Stamp as the leader of the Senate!!! How could that be boring?! Then we learned more, a lot more, about the Jedi. So what had been a group of cool noble laser sword weilding knights slaughtered by an evil force became a political organization of freelance soldiers imposing their religious will on the universe at war with another political force. This got the ball rolling in my head. What did the Empire do that was so bad?

V had Lizards rounding up innocent civilians and podding them for food. The Fremen in Dune are hunted for being natives to a priceless planet. Enemy Mine, slaves, At no point in the original trilogy does the empire attack someone that didn't have it coming. Oh sure, there was Aalderan. They were a peaceful planet... A peaceful planet harboring rebel fugitives and who's princess was a Rebel leader. Right or wrong, you gotta expect some blowback from that.

Where were the concentration camps? Where was the persecution? Look at Mos Eisley! The place is worse than Reno! Gin joints, hookers, fights, people of all walks of life milling about. Does the Empire care? Nope they just want the plans for their Floating Planet Smasher that they'll use to scare people into what? Paying the proper trade guild fees? Fine, here's 5 credits go blow up another planet.
And how do they go about getting the plans? Casually asking motorists. The next time you're at a traffic stop nonchalantly wave your hand and say "You don't need to search my car." See what happens. And we don't even live in a totalitarian regime.

Just take a look at it in terms of today's politics. Let's say there was a party of fight happy, organized religious nutbags ready to go anywhere and attack or invade anyone to prove that their way of thinking was the right one, would you vote for them? Or, would you vote for the other guy. The weird old guy in the hood with his shiney helmeted half robot VP who just wants a little of your money for taxes.
What about WAR "Emperor"? Not a problem we'll take care of any and all conflicts and not a single one of your sons or daughters has to die because with the taxes you are paying... Clone army... done. Not only that, but I'm guessing any political party that is cool with that level of cloning is gonna have absolutely no problem with stem-cell research.

What about Hoth, Yavin, Endor.. Those are battles buddy! Maybe they wouldn't keep trying to crush your rebellion if you weren't always trying to blow up their Not-a-moons.

And who would you want for a leader? The guy who rose through the ranks, learned his trade, built his forces and allegiances over time... Or the hick son of a lifelong politician who finally crawled his way out of the boondocks, not going to the academy, finding religion a couple decades into his life and going on a crazy crusade with a crotchety old man at his side to ruin all the hard work the government had done balancing budgets, establishing good relations with other planets and bringing all people under a united banner.

I wish I didn't think these things, but I do. All it would've taken was for Lucas to show one Gungan gas chamber, some propaganda posters in Coruscant calling for people to out their Jedish neighbors, innocents getting plucked up by the 501st and never seen again, but he didn't. He built the world as he wanted us to see it. Hell, do you know anyone other than crazed warlords who use children soldiers?! Nope. But there were the younglings ready to roll with their rat tails and light sabers. Twisted.

So this November... Vote for Palpatine. And George Lucas...stop fucking explaining everything, you're sucking all the fun out of it.

Been A While

Hey everyone. A couple big things...
1. I turned my lovely girlfriend into my lovely fiancee.

2. I have a steady Job as a Senior Designer for a media company. We worked in Vegas doing the Keynote for Bill Gates at CES. It was very very tiring. Here are pics.

3. I did #1 in Holland over the Holidays... here are those pics...

4. We just bought a massive TV thanks to our friend Corey. Pics to come of that, but take my word that I'm glad Blu-Ray is winning. Holy crap is it awesome.

5. Thanks to the recently released sketch I solved the Madeline McCann case.

More to come soon. Maybe even some more Slander Panda. I've been busy, sorry :(

-P

god, who will I vote for this November!?! wait, next November? Seriously? that far off? Fuucck

Hc619-tm

Oh thats so cute that they had the time to do that. She's really touching on the issues that matter, you know like what crap song she's going to pick, and what the country thought about how the Sopranos ended (poorly). Thank god she doesn't have to deal with a war, or corruption, of healthcare, or racism, or equal rights, or genocide in foreign countries, so that she can show us that she is just like us because she can post videos on the internet. Good move, I now can take her just as seriously as I do guys who drop Mentos into soda bottles, or guys who dry hump furniture.
Do people actually fall for this shit? I mean really... is generation X, Y, and i, so gullible that they fall for political internet chicanery like this or 70 year old men having myspace pages? I'll tell you one thing if Ron Paul wasn't a politcial candidate he could very well expect a visit from Chris Hansen.

Sorry Hilary, we love Bill but thats where it ends.

Episode IV: you know the rest

Haha back to jail. I created that card above if you want to send her your love.

Thing # 36 that I don't miss about LA

Yes, they let Paris Hilton out. Apparently because she was ill. See Charles Manson? All those fuckin parole hearings and you never thought to develop a cough. I pray this dumb vapid walking staph infection gets drunk, hops into her Bently and plows through a middle school cross walk, just so someone, anyone, can learn about cause and effect. I don't think people realize what an inspiration this woman is for little girls. ahhhh, sigh... maybe I'll update more, but I'm sure I'd just be writing what you're thinking anyways.

*addition*
This is a response I posted somewhere to someone making a comment saying that -
"How many people died in Bagdhad yesterday? Do you people really want to riot over Paris Hilton? Gawd, get a life. Just sayin...."

-It pisses me off because this is as much a product of our culture of lack of culpability as the war in Iraq. The past few years we have developed a society where flaunting money, criminal and unethical behavior, and a general lack of respect for anyone you consider less than yourself, has become not only accepted but praised. Most of us here saw someone who is a figurehead for this selfish movement possibly facing consequences for their actions and we were excited that society was possibly doing something right. And we were let down. So if we can't punish a celebrity for flagrantly breaking the law, what hope does an Iraqi child have for someone in our government bothering to take responsibility for their fate. Its a shallow analogy that we are making here, but its a shallow country we live in.