Garrison Dean Thinks You'll Care.

Transformers 3: Master Class Edition

2011-06-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

I posted this on Saturday over on io9 and it's pretty interesting watching the discussion it has created.

I HIGHLY suggest watching this in full HD with your speakers ALL the way up. (well maybe not all the way, but loud. because it rocks.. hard.)

Enjoy.

-Garrison Dean

It's a Disaster Poster (with Key!!!)

2010-11-28T09:17:00.000-08:00

Hey, I put together this poster for io9.com. Check it out at the link here.

http://io9.com/5700308/disaster-immortalized

You can purchase a print here...

http://rushinteens.com/DisasterPoster.html

Hope you like it! And of course you are entitled to your opinions. Some of these films I love, but they're still total shit. ;)

and yes, I know the work of Tyler Stout. He's very talented, and he and Martin Ansin were both inspirations for this. My first email to Annalee said something along the lines of "a Tyler Stoutish Poster" But I've also been doing things like this for quite a while, lest you think I'm flat out nicking their shit.

-Garrison Dean

p.s. Yes. It's hyperbole in it's highest form. Sure some of these are worse than others but I've heard people cry about all of them at some point.. hence. "It's a Disaster"

New Trailer!!! Faster: The Rampage Trailer

2010-11-14T15:14:00.000-08:00

The Rock is awesome. Truly the heir to the action stars of yore. Sadly, he went on and did his "Jingle All the Way" before his Commando, his "Stop or my Mom Will Shoot" before his Rambo or Cobra, and in the case of Southland Tales, his "Breakfast of Champions" before his Die Hard. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't give him a shot right? All I can really say is... IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I CAN SAY!! WATCH THIS DAMN TRAILER!!!

-GD

Dell, TATI reference?! I must say, I'm impressed.

2010-11-05T11:34:00.000-07:00

I recently built my own computer, which has freed me from the shackles of buying one from Dell, but I have to hand it to them on this ad for their Tablet/Smartphone "The Streak". I saw this the other night and while it isn't the snappiest ad ever, I give them MASSIVE amounts of credits for referencing, or ripping off, one of my favorite films of all time... Playtime.

It nods to most of the work of Jacques Tati, but my mind instantly went to Playtime which is the story of a man trapped in a modern, urban, nightmare (it's a comedy). I highly suggest you pick it up and watch it. It is slow, and there is not much of a plot, nor dialogue, but it's beautiful and brilliant, and a must see for anyone in love with modern design. Oh, and the director also BUILT A CITY to make the movie.

Here is an ok trailer for the film, but it gives you an idea.

That is all.

No it's not... The title of the commercial is called "Rendezvous" which may, or may not be a reference to this... C'etait un Rendezvous. The most badass, mother loving, car film ever shot.

-GD

If he's good enough for Sally Draper...

2010-08-23T13:59:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to do a little post on this guy for a while, and last night's Mad Men was as good motivation as any. If you happened to watch it then you may have been mildly surprised (shocked) by the remarkably subtle (and because of it's subtleness actually more shocking) scene where Don's daughter Sally really enjoyed The Man from U.N.C.L.E. at a sleepover.

But what many may not know is that the man who played Russian spy Illya Kurakin, David McCallum (you may know him more recently from NCIS), had a brief musical career as well.

His work was mainly tied in with David Axelrod, whose "Messiah" I posted about a little while ago, who produced the work and much of it was arranged by H.B. Barnum. As McCallum doesn't sing I'm kind of at a loss for what he did on these albums. I know it says he "conducted" but plenty of guys conduct albums and don't get their name on the cover. Who cares. It's a great bunch of period music and, for lack of a better word, groovy as a mother fucker.

You'll recognize the song "The Edge" immediately as it is a massively recognizable sample for Dr. Dre's "The Next Episode". I used to hate the Dr Dre song, but as I've gotten older and mellower I can appreciate it much more. What really impresses me is when I think of Dr. Dre, essentially some talented punk from the slums of LA, saying "yes, I will pick up this album with this actor on it, and perhaps I can use it somehow" and then actually using it.

In any case, enjoy these couple of songs which are the big "hits" and one that I just dig for flavor.

The Edge:

House of Mirrors:

Insomnia:

-GD

Ps. Bonus Sample Ref from DJ Shadow Sometimes the man really does wonders with samples, here... it's a bit more straight forward almost a remix. But whatever.. still entertaining.

Expendables... a half great movie

2010-08-16T15:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, as I am a man of my word I did go see "The Expendables" this weekend. For starters HOORAY MEN!!! Eat Pray Love, ate it, and Scott Pilgrim's took on the world... and lost. I think the only people who saw it were Ramona's 7 exes.

That said... The Expendables. What a treat. But where it could've been a balls out insane throwback film, and at points it is, it honestly plays it a little safe.

The core problem with The Expendables is that it took larger than life actors, placed them in larger than life characters, then spend a large portion of the movie trying to ground them and make them regular Joes. A great deal of effort was spent in making us like the protagonists and not enough was spent on making us hate the bad guys. They want us so badly to think that the main characters aren't the 90% heartless mercs that we really want them to be. It's the "Hooker with a heart of gold" story but here the sex is violence.

Take the film Predator, which at the outset shares the same plot as The Expendables. A group of rough and tumble military types are forced into a hot area to fight some South American Junta. This group of meat-heads rushes through the jungle, calling each other faggots, telling obscene jokes, running out of bleeding time, and destroying everything in their path and whatever slim morals they have are dictated by some slight sense of honor. And we love them for it. Compare that to The Expendables where its first scene has them brutally taking down an entire ship full of Pirates only to complain when Dolph Lundgren is going to hang one of them. The audience has built in love for these actors, it's why you collected them in the first place. The truth is that if you had them act as "bad" as you could, with a flimsy moral compass, you could've had an insane classic on your hand.

But even if they were unecessarily brutal, why would we care? The villains in this are so thinly constructed, (though Eric Roberts ought to be spiral cut because he was such a Honey Baked Ham I mean that as the largest compliment), and the plot which allows them to exist would be sub-par even for a direct to DVD Navy SEALS sequel. May I reference another "man movie" here, Rambo. Stallone's last Rambo film took great care in crafting such a loathsome and realistic villain who is such a threat to common people that only an action God and his kind could save them. By the time they are done sending innocent men women and children through land-mine wading pools you can't wait for Rambo and his merry band of mercs to blow them to smithereens. And blow them they do... wait, that came out wrong. In The Expendables you only feel they are going after the bad guys because they have nothing better to do.

But enough of my whinging. Let me make it perfectly clear... its a blast to see these guys unleashed on the world. I just wish there was some emotion behind it. BUT... lets glance at the awesome. (minor spoilers)

The Plane scene... holy shit did I not see them turning around to head back in that fashion. I also wondered why Statham grabbed the flare gun when he left the cockpit... glad they cleared that up.

Terry Crews + AA12 Shotgun (should)= his own 2 hour movie. Smiles everywhere, especially during the brilliantly framed shot looking down the long underground hallway.

The church scene. I knew the 3 BIG STARS only had one scene together, but man is it a fun scene. Bruce is such a delicious prick, and Arnold clearly was having fun. Lets get a sequel with them having more screen time.

The last 30 minutes... Awesome. While I'm a fan of over the top action, it's been done to death. The trailers for things like Knight and Day and Salt have me groaning at people doing fantastically unrealistic wirework CG stunts. It was so refreshing to have long meat and potatoes (but still fast and outlandish) action scenes. Jason Statham with a knife, Crews + AA12 - Watchtowers, and Stallone and Crews version of the Fastball Special really knock it up to one of the best finales ever. My one complaint is all the CG blood, but whatever.

Finally...

Dolph Lundgren... I've always liked him, I've secretly harbored a love for his Punisher film that was only recently surpassed by the recent one, Universal Soldier is a hoot, but can I just say that man is the standout in this film. Dolph truly deserves a full fledged 100% comeback. Part of it is because he is one of the few characters with an arc, but most of it is because he's just magnetic.

So is it a perfect film? No. But go out, see it, have a blast with your friends and tell Hollywood that there is still a desire for these kinds of films.

And again, I congratulate you men on making this film #1 this past weekend. I'd like to take all the credit... so I will. THANKS!!!

-Garrison Dean.

I love you Disgruntled/Bored Comcast OnDemand Summary Guy

2010-08-14T10:17:00.000-07:00

I've posted some of these here before but this one really may take the cake. This is not Photoshopped.

-GD

Stupid Facebook

2010-08-13T16:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, I have begrudgingly joined the throngs of people on Facebook. If you must be my friend, and you should I'm really a terrific guy, then find me there. And yes I'll be your friend, so have no fear of rejection.

I'm only saying this because I'll admit its easier to post things there than it is to create a whole blog entry. I'll still do stuff here, the detailed posts with the arts and the musics and the goofings off, but there you run a better chance of seeing whatever random shit pops into my head all day long. And photos I take with my new camera whilst bored like The Monarch chewing out Admiral Ackbar.

I really like my new camera.

http://www.facebook.com/garrison.dean

-GD

Music pt. 2

2010-07-13T14:31:00.000-07:00

For all the love I just gave to Andrew W.K. I'd be remiss if I left out the other brilliant music from the trailer. It is "Refused" off their classic album "The Shape of Punk to Come".

This is the song from the trailer.

This is the main video from that album. Thrilling to say the least.

-GD

Kids today must feel that partying hard and being awesome is a detriment.

2010-07-13T13:54:00.000-07:00

By now I'm hoping you all have seen my Expendables trailer, but in case you haven't here ya go!

It's really getting a terrific response, and I thank you all. There is one thing that worries me. I'm worried that I will need to develop a 2nd call to arms. One to rally people together to go save a bunch of men out there.

You see, I think there is a small, but vocal portion of society trapped in a disturbing parallel universe. A place where Andrew W.K. is considered (but not limited to): girly, not manly, emo, faggy, not hard enough, teen punky... shall I go on? This must be a truly disturbing place indeed, as in our universe Andrew W.K. is clearly a pillar of awesomeness and honorable manliness. (read more)

Evidence? Exhibit A: Never Let Down. Initially I wanted to use this song because it's just so goddamned epic, but I Get Wet just got to the punch (and a harder punch at that) quicker. But hey, I'm sure there will be other trailers (or maybe someday someone will let me make an actual film) and if they can use George Thorogood or Lux Aeterna (it is a terrific bit of music) in every trailer why can't I try and throw A.W.K. a bone.

-GD

Firefly Intro

2010-07-08T16:07:00.000-07:00

Just a little something I created for io9.com. Turned out rather well I think.

the io9 link as well, which explains why this HAD TO BE DONE!!!

-GD

When was the last time you were that excited?

2010-07-08T12:22:00.000-07:00

I don't normally put stuff of the critter (or myself for that matter) up on the blog, but had to here. This is the fam at the Zoo and the look on my little lady's face when she sees a giraffe looking at her from about 10 feet away. And no, she's not crying, she's just that damned happy.

-GD

Sometimes you need a little (ok, a lot of) melodrama in your music.

2010-07-04T14:34:00.000-07:00

HURTS - Wonderful Life

I really can't get enough of this EP, can't wait for the LP.
Basically if Joy Division, George Michael, Tears for Fears, Robbie Williams, the Pet Shop Boys, and Klaus Nomi all gang banged Kate Bush, this is the child they would've had. Basically, however you think the duo above would sound based on that photo... is pretty much how they sound. Pretentious? A bit... but they're from Manchester so what do you expect?

The below is one of the "big sounds" songs.
HURTS - Silver Lining

Video... a more "dancy" song than the others, but still terrific. Download the song free from their site.

-GD

THANK YOU EVERYDAY MUSIC!

2010-06-26T15:39:00.000-07:00

So, I have a pretty steadfast rule when visiting record stores. Depending on the time allowed to me I can meander through the aisles endlessly. But, to avoid frantic grabbing of anything if I'm in a buying mood, or just to know I don't have to search through all the stacks, I have developed what I call... The Walk Away Record.

Occasionally as I am flipping through the albums I'll come across something I've been looking for for a while and usually do a double take as I brush past it then have to go back with a "Oh shit! Was that...". Much like knowing when to step away from the table when Gambling, this is the record that I use to force myself to say "That's it pal, it ain't getting any better than that. After this record you're just blowing money." It's actually a very helpful guide as often you find yourself justifying purchases because the album is "kind of cool". If you find a Walk Away Record you can go back and probably ax that recent Ted Leo record (it's alright, but you can find it for cheaper and you can wait for that day), or that Glass Candy single (it will bore you eventually).

So yesterday, because the missus is in LA and I am having some quality Daddy/Daughter time, I decided to visit the new Elliot Bay Books in Capitol Hill. Lo and behold, Everyday Music also moved in right next door. This has now given Seattle a place to rival LA's Sunset and Cahuenga powerhouse of Amoeba and Arclight as "Place Garrison can kill lots of time and money". The new Elliot Bay books is nice. Obviously it lacks the history and punch of the original location, but it's still a classy, inviting place. I grabbed a few Sci-Fi Paperbacks that I should've read a while ago, Little Brother, Ringworld, and Old Man's War, then popped over to EDM next door. It's really fun record shopping with your 8 month old daughter because it gives you someone to talk over your purchases with without sounding like a nut, and, they can't say no! So I rolled over to the Soundtracks in my eternal search to find The Long Good Friday soundtrack on vinyl (I know, I should just get it from there, but it's less fun) and I popped right to Shades of Joy: Music of El Topo. No fuckin way. It's a re-release (I never care about that) but even the re-release has been elusive. Dusty Groove had it for a split second and I missed it, after that nothing.

If you've never seen El Topo, you should. It's an insane gunslinger film from an insane director Alejandro Jodorowski with mutants, shaman, pseudo deities, banditos, naked boys, well... just Netflix it. You may not like it, but you'll be glad you watched it. You may also really like it. Back to the topic at hand... There is an actual score to the film, but this is a weird, essentially, cover album for the film. It takes the more traditional classical score and turns it into a a psyche/prog/jazz/funk fusion record. Overall it's a terrific album, but even the couple of moments where it goes haywire are still made up for by the sheer fact that the album exists at all. Here is a track for your enjoyment.

SHADES OF JOY: FLUTE IN A QUARRY

Obviously, anytime you find a rather rare, special album you've been hunting for for a couple years is a Walk Away Record, and one you MUST buy, regardless of budget. You will kick yourself later. And if you're curious if it's a Walk Away Record... it's not.

Anyways, damn glad to have found the album and had to share. And when record shopping... remember the Walk Away Record
-GD

[yes I know my header is off center, working on it]

I don't know why, but I just felt compelled to post this.

2010-06-16T14:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the internet shows you things that are beyond words.

I mean, I know why the kids think its funny, but WHY DO THE KIDS THINK IT'S FUNNY??!?!

-GD

Big Drawn Butter Jesus or... Terminator Jesus.

2010-06-15T09:55:00.000-07:00

I'll thank my brother for this one. He lives in Cincinnati and long ago pointed out to me as we drove past (probably to Jungle Jim's an AWESOME grocery store) the Big Butter Jesus. An enormous sculpture of a touchdown Jesus built by some dude and apparently funded by mob money (or some crazy story like that). BUT, last night they had some wicked storms blow through and lightning struck the, what I've been told was, fiberglass and styrofoam statue and now all that's left is the skeleton. They are now referring to it as Terminator Jesus, which really is like way better. (click through for the current insane version)

I'm praying someone puts little glowing red eyes where the head was.
Video my brother found as well...

Awesome.

thx John.

-GD

House Hunting

2010-06-13T17:01:00.000-07:00

Hey. So, me and the missus have been looking for houses for a while now and occasionally we come across some that are just too damned awesome. We've been in Seattle for a couple years now coming up from LA and originally we only saw the small little Crafstman houses that populate the landscape but now that we're deep in the house hunt we have come across some magnificent gems of modern and midcentury modern architecture.

This is a big interest of mine, and I hope you'll dig them too. I'll post them when I see them, but some of them are just so beautiful that I can't not share. And lest you guys think that I'm seriously thinking about buying an 800k house let me tell you that it's out of my price range, but doesn't hurt to look. Sigh... one day.

The above photos are from this house which is under contract, but god damn it, it is amazing. ( a couple of unfortunate light fixtures though)
http://www.redfin.com/WA/Seattle/9100-40th-Ave-NE-98115/home/317466

We almost bid on this one, but it was just too big and needed too much work. The pictures online don't really do it justice as it really felt like at any moment Dean Martin was going to pop out and mix you a drink. (that's a good thing btw)

http://www.redfin.com/WA/Seattle/12026-Palatine-Ave-N-98133/home/95430

This one is still on the market and we just saw it today but it's too much for us, and honestly priced a bit too high. Still, they did a good job with it, so if you have 650k laying around... go get it and please invite me over for dinner.

Great basement office, very inspiring for wherever I end up.

There are some others I'll post along the way, I'll also post some of the horror shows we've come across (mainly the weird pictures people take to "sell" their place), but I'll end with this which is a "How on earth did we miss this one it's perfect and so cheap!!!!" but still it's a beaut.

http://www.redfin.com/WA/Seattle/2720-NE-110th-St-98125/home/111462

-GD

Maybe next time I'll post things that I like to see what you all say.

Watch this, get it views I order you!!!

2010-06-08T14:44:00.000-07:00

Long story... but watch this. Will post addendum to it in due time, many thanks. But damn those holes look good!!

Mash-ups dead?

2010-05-10T14:51:00.000-07:00

Yeah, probably. Especially after they were the soundtrack for a lengthy fight scene in Iron Man 2. There wasn't really anything wrong with the song, DJ AM god rest his soul has never really been a fave of mine but whatever. The scene was fine too (I enjoyed it anyways), but that kind of mainstream exposure is sure to pat down the remaining dirt on the grave of any underground cultural movement. That said, I think they'll always be fun to hear when done well and everyone loves a nice long good DJ mix.

Which brings me to this... The Kleptones, a group I fell upon a couple years ago and listened to death their 24 Hours Mix (seriously, get that before the one this post is about). As far as mash-ups go they are more complex with their sampling than Soulwax or Z-Trip, but a little more straightforward with their songs than someone like Girl Talk.

Well they have a new-ish mix out. I have no idea how long it's been up or around, but its worth picking up. Uptime/Downtime is a couple hours of music sure to keep you entertained at least once. I like Uptime a bit more than Downtime, but just cause it's a little snappier, or I listened to it first. Enjoy..

http://www.kleptones.com/pages/downloads_ud.html

-GD

Ummmm... Awesome??!!?

2010-05-07T19:58:00.000-07:00

http://www.spaceparanoidsonline.com/

I can only assume as the movie draws closer we'll get a browser light cycle game. Which would be good news, cause if the Space Paranoids game is this good, and even the shittiest Light Cycle knock off from the past 20 years has been good, we're in for a treat.

-GD

This is both huge and subtle at the same time, very impressive.

2010-04-08T10:37:00.001-07:00

PIXELS by PATRICK JEAN.
Uploaded by onemoreprod. - Independent web videos.

EASTER Pt II

2010-04-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

Boy you gotta love it when the onscreen graphics person drops the ball on local television. That or the Religious Right really doesn't fuck around with scandals anymore.

-GD

An Easter listening recommendation from The Coolest Person on the Internet

2010-04-03T13:24:00.000-07:00

I'll do a full post sometime about the brilliant producer and composer named David Axelrod (no relation that I know of to the White House Senior Advisor). But for now I want to share with you a little snippet of his music. He is known for his soulful and funky orchestral arrangements and compositions and this album is no exemption. Even if you know of David Axelrod this one may have slipped past you as it often gets lumped in with his experimental work. It may be an experiment, but it is by no means a tough listen, or weird album along the lines of some of his work with The Electric Prunes or his album Earth Rot.

The album is a re-working of Handel's classical masterpiece "Messiah". With choirs, break-beats, symphonic hits and huge sounds it's a must listen and a great musical change of pace during the Christmas or Easter holidays. It's also a nice reminder that before the nightmare that is "Contemporary Christian Music" Christianity had been a massive influence on musicians and artists for hundreds of years. [And no I'm not trying to get religious here, just simply pointing it out.]

Here are a couple track from it, including the one you'll definitely know from the original "Hallelujah".
OUVERTURE-

GLORY TO GOD-

HALLELUJAH-

I'm not sure if it's on CD, but it is on Vinyl and cheap too over at Dusty Groove, so whatreya waiting for! Go get it!

-GD

Two things I hadn't heard of last month that I now love.

2010-03-25T15:14:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm getting out of touch in my old age but occasionally things slip past me. Recently thanks to the invaluable spirit of browsing I discovered two things that by all intensive purposes I should've known of or experiences, but hadn't.

Firstly, Generation Kill. I ditched HBO about 5-6 seasons into the Sopranos when it went from being must see for me, to must avoid like the plague once it turned into the biggest budget Actors/Writers workshop ever. (Multi episode Coma Dream? Are you fucking kidding me?!!?!) So I catch up with what I hear is good on DVD and don't worry about the rest.

So when I was browsing through Netflix and noticed Generation Kill I figured I'd give it a shot. If I had heard of it before I probably wrote it off as "Over There" with curse words. Another Liberal whinefest (for the record I am a liberal and always thought Iraq was a bad idea, but hey since we're there we might as well win) designed to be about as subtle in its reflection of America as a installing a mirror above your bed. So that coupled with my not having HBO probably meant it got purged from the old memory banks. My bad.

It's essentially "Band of Brothers: Modern Warfare". A straightforward, (I'm guessing) realistic and honest look, and apolitical look at the early war in Iraq. A true story from the eyes, though not seen through his eyes thankfully, of an embedded reporter it deals with the boredom, minutiae, misdirection, in-fighting, solidarity, brotherhood, and fog of war. There are a few battles, but it isn't a constant blood and casualty fest. One raid is "fought" against literally no-one.

For my money it is leaps and bounds more interesting and "realistic" (I use quotes there cause, how the hell would I know if it was or wasn't, but this feels far more authentic) than "The Hurt Locker" (which I also really enjoyed). And it looks AMAZING on Blu-Ray. So go check it grab it. But know that the last disc only has ONE FRIGGIN EPISODE ON IT!!! Really HBO? You make me Q up one more disc for that? Oh and as I mentioned CoD: MW... Generation Kill clearly influenced MW2 down to the same shots and missions at times. So, thats fun.

Secondly...

"Winter World".
Swinging by a Barnes and Noble to grab a magazine I took a glance at the Sci-Fi section and the Comics area to see if there were any books and whatever volume of DMZ I'm up to (I think 5). Glancing around I saw this nicely presented Hardcover TPB of something I'd never heard of before. It also looked like it could be very similar to a story I was working on (It's not) so I figured I'd check it out.

Written by Chuck Dixon and illustrated by Jorge Zaffino in the late 80's, "Winter World is a very simple, straightforward Post Apocalyptic tale of a trader doing whatever he can to survive in what was once America. As often is the case in stories like this we have no idea why or when the world was covered in ice and snow but that mystery would be tangential at best to the struggles of our three main characters as they come up across every sort of nasty individual imaginable. "Winter World" is only 3 issues and they bundle it with the sequel "Winter Sea", so it's a fairly quick read. The story is so vivid, fleshed out, yet concise that it is a marvel that it hasn't gotten picked up by Hollywood. It could make for a fascinating film without cutting really anything out, or puffing it up.

Based on the link above it's only 14 bucks at Amazon, so... just get it.

That is all

-GD

BONUS: That isn't all.

Since I'm on a sort of rough and tumble streak here with military and the apocalypse I feel this is as good a time as any to say that I am 100% addicted to Lock 'n Load with R. Lee Ermey. If it's on, I watch it. It's R. Lee talking about the history of, then shooting guns. That's it. But, even for a gun control law nut like myself it's a fascinating and fun show.

That is all.

Stellar recommendation Netflix.

2010-03-11T15:27:00.000-08:00

Kind of blew my mind when I saw it on my page.

This should be next to the definition of juxtaposition. Though it could make a terrific Double Feature.

-GD

Joy Rich Directors Cut

2010-03-10T14:35:00.000-08:00

So, sometimes things go a little off the rails a little too late and you really do have to pay heed to the man holding the purse. But that isn't to say that you aren't proud of what came before. For any curious, this is what ate up most of January for me, and why I've been a little absent. Well, that and the little one. Click through to Vimeo for the HD version and the credits.

Asked for a 90's look and inspired by 80's elements like Breakin' and Buckaroo Banzai, I think for what it was we really hit the mark.

Music is Shadowplay by Mark Shreeve. Check out this site for "more information".

-GD

Everything about this is awesome.

2010-03-09T15:29:00.000-08:00

And everyone should go pick up whatever they can by Sebastien Tellier. He's fantastic.

EDIT- And that's why YouTube can eat all the dicks. And why I'm on Vimeo.

-GD

I guess the economic crisis is over!!!

2010-01-29T14:33:00.000-08:00

Lifesize replica Dethklok fountain.

Honestly, I would if I could.

-GD

Hee hee hee... Love it.

2010-01-29T13:10:00.000-08:00

A: It's hilarous
B: Technically it's tricky
C: Only the Dutch would use a bipartisan relief effort for one of the worst human disasters of all time as a chance to pick on Dubbya.

Brilliant.

-GD

When you're burned, you've got Nuffin!

2010-01-21T09:33:00.000-08:00

Yes I realize it is the #1 show on Cable, but just in case you aren't watching it make sure to tune in tonight to the season premiere of Burn Notice on USA. It is really one of the best shows on. It's the perfect mix of all the shows you loved as a kid, A-Team, Equalizer, Knight Rider, MacGyver, Dukes of Hazzard, combined with the skill and maturity that has come from recent TV. And speaking as someone who watches a lot of heavy and serious shows, this one is refreshing because it's just fun.

I was fiddling around with this illustration a while ago as a test for some textures and it's as good as I'll probably get it because I lost the drive to finish it. But I'm happy with it.

-GD

#2 Movie Computer Cliche that bugs the shit out of me.

2010-01-11T20:31:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Rocketless for the video (brilliant film) above in the "Enhance" Post. It allows me to elaborate briefly on another computer related thing that drives me crazy in films.

People typing to operate a computer.

They've been doing it for 30 years now and while it may have made since then, we now have a little thing called a mouse. Oh, to be sure I'm typing now, but that's because I'm writing. If I had to say... close Chrome, open After Effects, import a file, drag it to the project window and then export, I think I could do that all without touching the keyboard. Because I live in the real world. Not so in movies where it is all typey typey and no mousey mousey.

Perhaps now I'll get around to making a cool vid like whoever that guy was who did the enhance vid to show you what I mean (I won't) but in the mean time I hope I've brought this to your attention so now it bugs the holy hell out of you too.

-GD

Hi, I'm Teri. I may look like a member of the Runaways, but I can recite Starfleet Regulations while we do it.

2010-01-08T09:31:00.000-08:00

JJ Abrams made Star Trek as cool as it will probably get, but that's not like it hasn't been tried before. Please, someone mail that to that address and let me know if they send you one of these jackets because they are amazing. Plus it is PERFECT for me because when I do leave the house it's only to go to the Disco, Comic-Con, SyFy Parties or School Activities.

In case you're wondering... for Christmas my brother got me some old issues of "Future" magazine which is pretty much the print form of io9, only from 30 years ago. He finds these things because he lives in Cincinnati where no one buys anything that I like. Want to find that rare vinyl you've been looking? Cinci has it and they have it for cheap. Looking for that Labbit that you thought could only be found on ebay? They have two and no one is buying. I think their entire economy revolves around bourbon, cigarettes, and Reds gear. Oh and anything Ocho Cinco. (best book cover ever) Anyways... The magazines are fucking amazing. I'll try to put a couple things up when I find something interesting. There is another item of clothing I'll put up tomorrow. The picture isn't as awesome but if you can believe it it blows these jackets out of the sky.

-GD

Nothing sets me off in movies as much as this lazy plot device.

2010-01-05T11:25:00.000-08:00

Blade Runner is the only one I let slide because it seems that the Esper and its photos seem particularly designed for it. And to make that scene they had to shoot hundreds of photos to achieve the effect.

-GD

Buh. whu. um. siiigh. My Avatar review.

2010-01-04T08:55:00.000-08:00

As a proud new papa I've had to make certain concessions with my life. The biggest means far far fewer films in actual theaters, more Blu-Ray. That of course means that when I do decide to see a film it has to be something deserving of it. Something I'm really excited for, and/or something that if it is to be seen, needs to be seen on a big screen. And Avatar was that movie.

Now I had some trepidation the second I saw the Papyrus font logo, and then the blue people, but this is James Cameron!!! Aside from Titanic and that crummy James Bond deconstruction/parody with Tom Arnold, and all those IMAX sea docs that I didn't see, he's never made a movie I didn't love! I also have never been super big on the headache involved in previous 3D generations, but because I do stuff for the innernet the nice people at AVTR (coke) sent me a free pair of really nice 3D glasses to ensure that I was seeing this the way it was meant to be seen.

So after the holidays and after our friends were gracious enough to watch the little one for a Sunday afternoon, we went to experience the event that is... AVATAR.

I'll nitpick more in a moment, but the blurb review is this, Avatar is the cinematic equivalent of a Drive-thru-Tree. It's set in a forest, it looks really cool, you don't see many things like it, it took time and care to make, and it's a mildly diverting novelty, but ultimately you can see exactly where you're headed and it's totally pointless.

I wanted it to be good. I wanted to not care that it was Dances With Wolves on another planet. But I'd be buggered if I cared one bit about anything that was happening through the whole movie. Every time some phenomenally beautiful spectacle came up, or I noticed just how lifelike the Naavi looked (my wife thought it was make-up not CG), it just made me angry that such skill and talent was going to waste on soulless and done to death story.

Right from the get-go you're handed a gigantic bag of ham handed plot points that for any other film would derail it in the eyes of any critic and most viewers. I have no idea why they're all being so kind to this one.

Imagine if you will if Avatar was a sequel and the first film was about the scientists creating the Avatars. They've worked long and hard to create these remote controlled biological wonders, but the one catch is that they are genetically coded to one individual. Then, at the climax of the film the hero scientist, the handsome Thomas gets killed right before they ship off to Pandora! Oh no! What a dilema... but don't worry, he has AN IDENTICAL TWIN WHO IS A RECENTLY PARALYZED MARINE and he's be perfect to step in and replace him!!! You would throw your soda at the screen and walk out because that is one step up from "IT was all a dream the whole time!". I think it would look a little like this...

So, imagine that ending and realize it is the beginning of this film. That is the road they send you on and they stick hard to that road. I don't need much logic in my films but at least pretend to try.

Why is he a twin? Wouldn't the film be just as good if he was the scientist joining the Naavi learning to hunt? Or, if he was a Marine all along saddled with the scientists to keep them straight?

Why is the character paralyzed? I understand the plot point of him maybe getting his legs back, but by the time the general throws that bone at him it's not even a choice anymore because he's so gaga over the Blue Lady.

How do they "lose" him in the jungle the first trip out? Cameron, you created the concept of motion sensors for Aliens that has been ripped off more times than I can think of. You mean to tell me they created these bodies from scratch with no GPS locator? My fucking dog has a microchip in it for crying out loud!

They have spaceships equipped with cryo units (awesome), huge walking Mechs (sorry District 9 really kicked your ass on that one), super huge hover-ships (again awesome), ungodly amounts of ammo and guns, but no long range artillery? You have to literally fly right over the "God Tree" and drop pallets of explosives on it?

Again, I don't usually nitpick, I really enjoyed both Transformers 2 and GI Joe for crying out loud (but neither of them are, nor will ever be, on anyone's best list) but Avatar was one overlong missed opportunity. Less time touching plants (We get it. they glow) and more time with the community learning why the Naavi are so wonderful. All we saw them do was yell, fight, and meditate. I wouldn't have even minded the done to death scenes of him playing with Naavi kids, making food with the women. Hell, make it a montage set to "My Heart Will Go On", lord knows the rest of the film was (Horner, I'm looking in your direction). The evil General might as well have been played by a gigantic Green Army Man figure for all the depth he had. One, ONE! scene of him torturing, or at least being mean to a captured Naavi would've made him a villain. Instead he was an unethical dick doing his job. And speaking of unethical dicks... Giovanni Ribisi I actually enjoyed. But I feel that Cameron missed a real chance to do something technically challenging and digitally insert Paul Reiser from Aliens in that role as they were pretty much the exact same character.

The only time I felt any true emotion was when Jakesulley ditched his own personal dragon with whom he had a biological bond with for the giant dragon. Poor little dude got ditched and was never seen again. 15 minutes were spent on Sully getting that first dragon only to say sayanora to it the first chance he gets. Oh and on the topic of the dragons... is anything in nature that conspicuous and still alive?

I could go on, but I'm just wasting breath at that point. I know there are worse films out there, but few are wrapped in such a glorious package. That is why I feel so betrayed. Such skill, technology, talent, artistry used to create such a cold, forced, boring mess pretending to be a rousing heart filled socially conscious film. If you haven't, go out and read Maria Doria Russell's book "The Sparrow". While I realize it is far from as family friendly as Avatar, it also tells the tale of humans on another planet dealing with foreign races locked in their own ecological struggle and the part humans play in it. Then think of what a phenomenal film could have been made from that story with this team, and $300 Million, then go and weep a little.

I'll end with this. Go see it for the 3D but know that the 3D is the only depth this film has. Oh and thanks for the Glasses, they fit perfectly and will get much use from other Real D stuff in the future because it really did look amazing.

Now, on the topic of 3D... Who's ready for TR2N!?!?!? I could give a fig if that has a plot and I hope to god everything in that film is iridescent.

-GD

Minor Disaster

2009-12-22T11:18:00.000-08:00

So as you all know I've been away from "This is a Disaster" from some time now due to the baby and work and general life busy-ness. I was trying to get a post done as a holiday treat for you wonderful people but right as I was getting going on some photoshopperies a client had work for me on a last minute holiday video card... so paychecks call and I answer.

BUT, I did get one Photoshopperie almost done which I'll toss here for you as a little gift. In response to the article on Book Cover's Being Ashamed of their Sci-Fi-ness.

"This is not a new trend... they've been ashamed for years."

-GD

THE TRACKS GO OFF IN THIS DIRECTION BECAUSE I MADE THEM...

2009-12-18T09:24:00.001-08:00

With my KICKS!!!!

Sweet Star Wars/Adidas line. More info, pics and merch at Kid Robot Kronikle & Star Wars Site.

the Luke Skywalker ones are my fave, cause I'm a sucker for orange and have always loved his flight suit.

-GD

LA PHIL Penguins

2009-12-14T19:59:00.000-08:00

So last year in conjunction with YYES I produced an online holiday card for the LA Philharmonic. They asked me to help them again this year and I think we really knocked it out of the park. I managed to get all of this done in a little over a week and a half. I'm really rather happy with the backgrounds that I put together for it, but I can't ignore the cuteness of the daughter penguin. I'm thinking it would be a terrific merchandising opportunity for the LA PHIL wink wink. haha anyways here is the link to the LA PHIL page...

http://www.laphil.com/holiday/

and if you want to see it in the full HD glory visit my Vimeo page and go full screen.

I may put up a couple more backgrounds soon just for the hell of it so you all can see them isolated. But fornow... enjoy

-GD

DEAR DODGE,

2009-11-15T10:49:00.001-08:00

I don't know if anyone has told you... but American car companies aren't doing so hot. So when you have a car that people may actually both want to, and be able to buy... LET THEM SIT IN IT AT THE AUTO SHOW!!!! And if you don't, then don't be surprised when your section is a ghost town and Chevy has everyone and their mother sitting in Bumblebee (for the record the Autobot Package is only like 300 more dollars... I'd do it even though I'd regret it later) and ogling the Stingray.

love,

Garrison Dean

I'M SURE THIS HAPPENS IN IRAQ ALL THE TIME

2009-11-14T10:30:00.000-08:00

I'm happily entrenched in Borderlands with whatever time I can scrape together for games, but I'm hoping that Santa brings me Modern Warfare 2. And if he doesn't then I'll be my own Santa because I loved the knives in MW1 and you couldn't throw them then.

-GD

(via Kotaku)

Last night I found the Bottom of the Barrel

2009-11-05T09:41:00.000-08:00

Being too cheap/poor to pay for movie channels on our cable I often troll through the Free HD Movies section in our OnDemand. So last night as there was nothing on and all I really wanted to do was play Borderlands but that would bore the wife. [side note: still at the beginning but Borderlands is a lot of fun already] So we checked out all the new flicks in OnDemand. There is a bunch of horror stuff which I'll get to at some point like Hostel 2. Didn't really like Hostel 1, but I do love boobs... sooooo anyways... One of the movies was called The Order of the Black Eagle and was described as such: Hitler is still alive and a British Spy is tasked with traveling to South America to stop Neo Nazi organization from helping is rise.

Now, if I were the space between two buildings that connects major streets a movie like that would be right up me. It's tough to fuck up a Hitler is still alive story so I was curious how I'd never heard of this. The movie was via the Impact channel which always prefaces it's films ratings with goofy fake ratinigs. This had Kn: for Killing Nazis Cg: for cool gadgets (or something) and then there was Ms: for Monkey Sidekick... I thought they were kidding. They weren't.

The film is basically some Michael Bolton look-alike running around poorly mic'd rooms with his Baboon sidekick who's main talent is giving people the "Hey, up yours!" fist gesture. I can only assume they couldn't afford to train him to raise his middle finger. I'm not even mentioning the horrible effects, sets, acting, stereotypical Arab dude, Bad guy who is not Orson Welles, the fact that it was produced by "Polo Players LTD" and the fact that I only made it to the 22 min mark before I gave up. Yeah.. me I gave up, thats how bad it was. Don't believe me? Here is a screen shot I grabbed.

Unbeliveable. How this gets transfered to HD for OnDemand (seriously.. I don't think it was ever released on DVD) and I still can't get Star Wars on Blu-ray is a crying shame.

-GD

C'est chouette

2009-11-03T11:56:00.000-08:00

Pretty amazing stuff getting worked out here, that I will for sure study and make use of in some way. And of course anything Serge related gets my love. I guess this is related to that French biopic coming out about him that I really really hope gets at the least a limited release here.

(via World of Kane)

-GD

YUB NUB INDEED

2009-10-31T11:47:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a new baby, and a grandma staying with us to help, I get to watch way more Today Show than I should. And when they turn their Halloween show into a giant Star Wars tribute I perk up. And oh man was it worth it to watch as much as I could.

From a youth to today, I've always stood by the Ewoks. Even when cynical film fans, series fans, and Gen Xers said they were lame, I said they were awesome... here is final proof. Watch this whole segment dissolve before this poor Martha Stewart wannabe's eyes as her furry mischievous friends drink, showboat, fight and moonwalk and ultimately steal the show... and your heart. awwweee.

The whole thing is great, but it really hits when drunk pissed off Wicket rolls in around the 2:00 min mark.

oh, and Natalie Morales is a piece as Padme. And I'm pretty sure she's a Star Wars fan as this is what she wore last year, while on Maternity Leave no less!

-GD

CUMULOUS SIMPSONUS

2009-10-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

I still try and pick out shapes from clouds so yesterday as I left my apartment I looked up and saw this doozy.

If this isn't a Simpsons Character, I don't know what is. Initially I leaned towards Homer, but it may be more Grandpa, or perhaps one more obscure... Discuss.

Seriously, no Photoshopperie going on here. Somehow the light from the sun just hit those two little cloud bursts. It's iPhone, so otherwise I would've zoomed, but click on it for it a bit bigger.

-GD

Not rare, just good.

2009-10-22T11:56:00.001-07:00

I'm posting this not because you've never heard of Air, but probably because if you're like me your interest was at a point where unless someone told you to give it a listen, you probably wouldn't. So here is your notification.

I'm a sucker for almost all things French when it comes to music, as you'll find out if you keep reading. 10 years ago Air's Moon Safari came out and grabbed me hook line and sinker. I enjoyed some of the ambient/"chill" stuff that was coming out. Living in DC at the time we were flush with the 18th St Lounge Music but too often it was boring and way too clean, too digital (I hesitate to say electronic because there are few things I love more than some straight Synth stuff). Moon Safari was more organic, more natural. And, it drew from the past without sounding "retro".

They continued to release albums, some better than others. Some held me for repeated listenings for a while, others seemed like dull exercises in knob twiddling, but I still remained interested.

Now they have a new album out and it feels good. Love 2, is a return to form though not a rehash of the old sound. It sounds like they've taken what they've learned from their exercises in electronics and combined it with a decades worth of experience and further learning. So for you I'll cheat... here's the best song off the album. Called Tropical Disease it sounds like it could be the Theme song for the movie "Emmanuelle in Space", a movie that doesn't exist, though I'm sorely tempted to make it now that I've thought of it. EDIT: um.. apparently there is a whole series of "Emmanuelle in Space"... go figure. That said, I doubt it swings with the proper vibe this would bring. Yeah... Looks like I'm right.

Air: Tropical Disease

While no Moon Safari, the rest of the album is quite good as well.

-GD

Saskia - 10.12.09

2009-10-15T09:31:00.001-07:00

The little one is here. She's terrific. More later.

-GD

NEVER TRUST SPACE NYMPHS

2009-10-08T10:51:00.000-07:00

via Valerie (more on them later)

MUSIC FROM THE COOLEST GUY IN THE INTERNET

2009-10-07T15:38:00.000-07:00

Over on io9, commenter Gods-n-Clods kindly gave me the title of "Coolest Person in the Internet" something that I really take to heart. Though I was shocked to learn that it wasn't just my massive body of incredible work that caught me on his radar, but rather a while ago when I suggested some music that he then got really into. This made me really happy.

I love music. I have a shit ton of LP's and thousands of mp3's. I still have a handful of CD's that I just love and won't (or can't) get rid of, but at this point I don't see why you'd buy new one. Regardless, I feel that I have excellent taste in music, but I know that this is a feeling shared by almost anyone who listens to music so I don't pay it much mind. I am happy when my tastes are confirmed by outside sources like Gods-n-Clods, and the new army of Incredible Bongo Band fans that are out there after the 2012:Disaster trailer. I have no interest in this becoming a music blog, but I figure every so often I'll pass along some things I really love. Beginning today.

I do want to let you know that

A: I don't really do too much mainstream stuff, but I loathe Indie Rock.

and

B: I don't do "ironic". If I'm listening to something it's because I really like it and think it is worthwhile. I spent enough time in High School and college listening to things I thought were cute in order to get attention and look cool.

This brings me to my first recommendation. Montée. There are plenty of bands out there riding the new 80's synth rebirth, but too many of them seem content with doing it with their tongues planted firmly in their cheeks as they hold a copy of Vice magazine for reference to the now. Personally, I want people who are going to take the work spearheaded by people like Brian Eno, Giorgio Moroder and to a certain extent Toto, and filter it through a couple decades worth of musical advancement, not just copy a Casio Sound. Montée nails this on their album "Isle of Now". Of course they aren't American, they're Norwegian which means even if they are kidding, you can't tell.

From what I can cobble together from the limited info on the web they are a sort of Hardcore/punk/Industrial/Experimental/who knows supergroup that decided to make an album that makes a big shift from all those sounds. I could go into trying to describe what it sounds like but I'd probably fall flat. Is Epic Soft Rock a genre?

Let me put it this way. It's 5 years after the apocalypse, you and your lover have survived the cataclysm, the marauders, starvation and now are two of the few people left on earth. As you travel in your convertible through deserts, or on a sailboat through the silent waters of the planet are you going to only listen to "Kill 'em All". Nah, you'll need this album.

SONGS-(let me know if you will actually listen to these here or if in the future I should just file link you to a couple of tracks)

ISLE OF NOW:

ASCEND:

-GD

I'M CALLING IT... THE BIGGEST DISASTER IS!!!

2009-10-05T18:23:00.000-07:00

Well done you guys. For a moment I thought I was going to have to declare it opposite day and say what we all knew...That "Transformers: Revenge (or is it Rise? who gives a shit) of the Fallen" Was the greatest thing to come out in a long while. But then... like a hail Mary pass you guys swooped in (or is it Swoped in? swept?) and declared the Battlestar Galactica Finale the biggest disaster of the last few months!!! Woo Hoo!

I'm very proud of you all. See the results here on io9 in case you think I'm lying just to make sure TF didn't lose/win.

-GS

p.s. the pic above is a super big image from a Season 1 (or even maybe miniseries) press packet I got a long time ago so click on it and then save it for your wallpaper cause I know we all love Pre-whiney angel Starbuck.

The Revenant Trailer

2009-10-04T16:56:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends, Chris, shot a movie a little while ago that I was excited because it was a genre pic and I figured at best it would wind up on SyFy. It's actually getting some buzz and is supposed to be rather good. The trailer really gets me excited for it in a "I'd see this even if it wasn't my friend" kind of way. Check it out and keep your eyes peeled for it showing near you!!

-GD

MARVEL MANIA

2009-09-29T11:24:00.000-07:00

So over at Comic Book Resources via io9 someone posted the menu from one of my all time favorite restaurants MARVEL MANIA. It was like Planet Hollywood or The Hard Rock Cafe, except that all their memorabilia was fictional and had to be made by a prop house. "Oh, you have Keith Richard's guitar? That's cool. WE HAVE THE FUCKING INFINITY GAUNTLET!!!"

Since I recently just bought a new scanner and dug out an old photo box I figure I'd share the scant memories I have from my one visit to the restaurant. As you can see we geared our interests in a specific direction.

PLATE: What a great logo.

SHOT GLASS: Thank god Marvel's heroes are in the real world otherwise I'd have to start calling my Manhattans Metropolises.

-GD

Not all I do is 1s and 0s

2009-09-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

PAINTINGS:

So as you may or may not know I am coming into the homestretch of expecting a little girl. We already have all the furniture we need and the wife picked a color scheme of Pink/Fuscia and Black. She got some wonderful wall decals for one wall.

But, that was just one wall so we need to cover others, so the wife asked if I could contribute some artwork for our daughters room. I worked within the color range (for the most part though it's a bit more purple than pink) and came up with this cuddly little beast. I'll probably still tweak it, put a shadow underneath the critter and fix a couple little things but it's pretty much done. I'll also take a better photo once I find my camera charger, this is the iPhone but thought I'd share.

DETAIL

OTHER PAINTING THINGY:

So, also yesterday we picked up a couple little items. Down the street from us here is a Consignment furniture shop. It's called Consign Design, but that is not an invitation for you to go gank all the cool stuff I am now gonna look for. We have literally driven past it every day for the past 2 1/2 years and never gone in because most of the stuff we can see from the window is antiques, 80's contemporary etc... Not really my style and occasionally no style at all. But earlier this week they put a 60's orange lamp in the window so I figured I'd stop by and see how much it was. $250... way too much for me right now, but looking around the store I saw a couple other things and came back yesterday with the special lady, did some haggling with the very friendly salesman there, (thanks John) and walked away with this painting as well as 2 (original as I just discovered) cushion-less Burke chairs. All for a very respectable price. My only concern now is this... Who is the artist of this beaut'? And what do we name her, or do we just stick with calling her "Spanish Lady"? [again, iPhone pic, WHERE'S MY DAMN CHARGER!!! I've got a baby to take photos of soon!!!]

-Garrison

More Music

2009-09-14T10:53:00.001-07:00

Ok, while I do like the work of my friend Anduze (find him at iTunes or CD Now), I have to admit I spent the better part of the weekend listening to this. The full album, which found its way to me via an industry friend, is just as awesome as the first.

I'm so happy that Brendon Small bothers to make real music to accompany his fake band. So often "parody work" winds up resting on its humor or the fact that it exists at all. No one would put the work of the Rutles or Cb4 against their real life counterparts. Even Spinal Tap, while amazing, still can be heard singing with their tounges in their cheeks. Dethklok could be put up against any band out there and probably come out swinging.

-GD

Support this man!

2009-09-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

If you're a fan of smooth soul, new soul, old soul, slick vocals, or just good music for f*%&'n check out this new release by a friend of mine, Anduze. It's a soulful examination of love lost, well not so much lost but given away. "Speak Now" is particulary catchy.

Oh, I also did the album art. so, you know, make me look good.

ANDUZE - CLOSURE

-GD

Text Illustrations

2009-09-02T14:04:00.000-07:00

Been playing with some very lo-res sketches of text illustrations, just to work on the process for it. The Cloud City needs a lot of work but I like where it is going I just don't know if I'm going to take it there. I'd need to see if I can make these sorts of things move in AE.

-GD

HALO what?

2009-08-24T11:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I finally saw "District 9" last night. Amazing. A few years ago I came across "Alive in Joburg" online and fell in love with it. There was a stroke of brilliance in it that I hoped would one day translate to a full film by that director. I never could have expected that it would be a feature length version of Joburg. For the past 30 years every genre film has basically tried to be Star Wars or Alien/s, I'm so happy to see someone develop a new aesthetic for other people to rip off for a while.

I'm also glad that we are moving past Music Video directors getting feature films and back to commercial directors. People like Blomkamp and Kosinski (Tron 2) who have actually had to tell some form of story in their previous work for hire rather than just make it look good (which they also accomplish). I feel I have been burned far too many times by the "it" music video directors who have made some of my favorite videos coming to feature films and making aimless, pointlessly depressing, and ultimately plotless character studies about hipster assholes, that never lived up to the visual potential introduced by their previous work. You guys all know who you are.

In any case, I was excited when I heard that Blomkamp was going to do Halo. I've never played Halo, but the guy visually had the chops. I'm insanely glad that it fell through because, and again I only know the broadstrokes of the story, I doubt Halo would've allowed for as personal and well fleshed out story as D9. BUT! As I was watching D9 unfold one video game lept to mind that I would love to see him do, and it ain't Halo. It was all solidified when Wickus picked up a pig with what I could only describe as a Gravity Gun and send it flying into a soldier, that I could loosely describe as a Combine. Let's get this guy on Half Life, pronto. Forget Halo. And I imagine it would look a little bit like the image above. (edit: yeah, I did it, you can see a little GD in the corner, thats me!!! :) And here is the original if you are curious...

-GD

COMIC-CON Part Deux: The Stills

2009-08-16T08:43:00.000-07:00

While I was handling the video, my special lady was wandering around with the still camera and she did alright. Here is the album. Normally I would edit these more, but whatever.

SDCC PHOTO ALBUM!!!

-GD

COMIC-CON DISASTER SPECTACULAR!!!

2009-08-16T07:58:00.000-07:00

Got this done! Alright! Hope you enjoy it.

As usual click through the link for the HD version.

-GD

Beyond Typecast/Truth in Advertising

2009-08-11T09:38:00.003-07:00

For those with time on their hands and a keen eye for observation, movie descriptions on your digital cable and OnDemand menus are a source for great amusement. I was flipping through the menus last night and came across this and snapped it for you.

I'm sure that Nancy Allen would be proud to be "the chick from Robocop". And no, I haven't watched this... yet.

-GD

RIP John Hughes

2009-08-06T14:37:00.000-07:00

Normally the death of celebs and artists don't have too heavy of an impact on me, even those that I like or even love. But everyonce in a while someone does really hit me, especially when it is a surprise. Today we lost John Hughes, a man responsible for endless hours of entertainment through repeated viewings of his films throughout my youth on afternoons and sleepovers. From Aunt Edna to "Bueller..." to "Those AREN'T PILLOWS!!!" he really helped to shape a decade and a generation of people.

The man became his own genre, something very few are able to achieve. What else can I say beyond watch anything he touched.

The video below, a recent song by M83, would've remained an homage for sometime, but now becomes a tribute.

-GD

WHEN I FINALLY HAVE A HOUSE

2009-07-31T09:26:00.000-07:00

When I finally do have a house, I will do something awesome like this to one of the rooms. Check out this site devoted to one person's fascination with molded plastic and the future that we never achieved thanks to things like cherry wood & stainless steel appliance kitchens, wrought iron accents, and the general public's lack of inspiration.

I've tried this before on a much smaller scale in various apartments, (I even used to have the same bed, thank you mrs dean for making me get rid of it) and have a small collection of funky white furniture but never anything close to this extent. Great job on this house, whoever you are. The one piece dining table is remarkable.

Though if I could critique... and I can, it's the interent. They have to make sure they keep the collecting in check, it's a fine like between amazing collection in your house and it looking like a store.

Well done Space Man!!

OH YEAH!!! MORE TRON!

2009-07-27T09:44:00.000-07:00

Had a grea time at Comic-Con, working on the video now, but man am I pissed that I missed out on Flynn's arcade. This thing they do where they put attractions outside of the Convention Center... grrrr. oh well. The good news is that finally they've released the test footage from last year online and man is it bad ass.

TRON Reboot.

2009-07-16T12:51:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not know I am an unapologetic fan of Tron. I understand why people may not like it, I'm just not one of them. Not only that, but as a fan of the shorts/ads of Joseph Kosinsky and a huuuuge fan of Daft Punk, I'm wicked excited for the TR2N 2.2 & 2/2nds (or whatever they're calling it this week).

But until then, this project by Ben Hansford more than wets my whistle for new Tron. Not only is it graphically pitch perfect, but its tone and references are so on point that I'm guessing Ben must be a fan. If not, then the MCP tips his cylinder to your clever skewering.

Here are the two episodes to date. though you should really visit them on youTube for the full HD experience

EPISODE 1:

EPISODE 2-

As a personal note, my work on Boom Kat was more than a little inspired by Tron.

BEST LOCAL AD EVER

2009-07-13T11:39:00.000-07:00

This is an old one, but I was reminded of it today so figured I'd post it. I knew there was something good about Seattle when I moved here and saw this ad actually running on local TV. Where else do Storm Troopers make cameos in Auto Insurance Ads?

THERE WERE 4 OTHER MALE JACKSONS?!

2009-07-08T10:02:00.000-07:00

I'll preface this by saying that when you are married to a European one of the biggest cultural differences is music. Every so often my special lady will bring up some song that was a signifigant moment in her upbringing, something that was a huge hit in her native Holland, something that I have never heard before. For me Alphaville was a distant memory that I guess gets played at weddings occasionally. For her they were a chart topping powerhouse. I will admittedly chalk some of my ignorance up to the fact that outside of really big pop artists I only listened to the oldies that my parents played, old soul, Beatles, Beach Boys etc... and then slammed head first into Heavy Metal with "Appetite" and a smattering of hip hop and rap with NWA and Black Sheep.

So last night as we were breezing through the MJ memorial and Jermaine Jackson got up to sing Sabine said

"Remember him and Pia Zadora?"

"What?!"

"I loved that song!!!"

"WHAT?! The girl from Naked Gun 3?"

"He and her did these songs together, one was huge!!!"

Apparently in Holland it was, here, notsomuch. In any case we looked it up online and I have to say I'm loving this song right now. With all the time I've spent being addicted to the synth revolution, primarily the Valerie (go grab it all) stuff this is right up my alley.

And the video is awesome. You know how the Italians ripped off and made their own shitty yet awesome versions of Escape from NY, The Warriors, and Star Wars? This is their rip off of Beat It, complete with white leather Mad Max warriors. Will this be to your liking? Probably not, I have weird taste, but whatever... Here it is.

Oh yeah and apparently it's from a film called "Voyage of the Rock Aliens". Which I have also sadly never heard of before today. That's why that poster is up there.

2012: IT'S A DISASTER!!!

2009-07-05T20:07:00.001-07:00

Put this together for this week's Disaster. Don't normally cross post but what the hell, I really like this one.

2012: THIS IS A DISASTER from Garrison Dean on Vimeo.

SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR AWESOME.

2009-06-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I adore the works of Michael Bay. I don't like them in an ironic way, I just flat out love them. Well all of them except for Pearl Harbor where I felt that his talents managed to turn a tragedy into an adventure which was somewhat offensive. HOWEVER! All other times he is bang on! No one makes films like his, and very few actually try.

I'm sure some would love to debate me on his talent but whenever I do discuss it it becomes a two sided exercise in circular argument and pointless quibbling.

"How can you like his movies?! They're just nothing but explosions, camera moves, flashy colors, boobs, and car chases!?"

"Because they're nothing but explosions, camera moves, flashy colors, boobs, and car chases."

So to honor the man in the only way I know how (and to fill some space on io9) I have created this little work of art that I titled "Deliver Us Some Awesome". And if you are here from io9, then welcome... here are your Wallpaper Sizes.

Original Post

DELIVER US SOME AWESOME

Enjoy.

Sketchbook Stuff

2009-06-23T14:39:00.000-07:00

I really need to buy a new scanner and remember to return the one I have to my friend. In any case, while I have it I'll keep scanning in sketches and drawings.

This first one was a quickie sketch I did of a building on 15th across from the Helix bridge while waiting for the wife. It's the sketch and then a little color test with it.

The next one is "Intervention" sketches. The woman and I have gotten hooked on this show and have what we call "ding ding" monday when they show two in a row. We call it "Ding Ding" because whenever they go back and examine the person's life history they always hit the Ding Ding moment. "Everything was fine, he was a beautiful kid, and then..." Divorce, abuse, drug abuse on the parent's part, mom dies... there is always something and we always have to shout out DING DING! as the alarm reminding us that it is rarely a mystery how they got to this point.

But there is a ton of real drama in it which leads to people with a lot of character on their faces so I've begun sketching them while I watch.

More Muckin with the iPhone

2009-06-14T11:15:00.000-07:00

Still playing around with the iPhone Brushes app. Did this in the car while waiting as the wife ran in to do something at work. Happy enough with it.

Just did this

2009-05-29T14:09:00.000-07:00

This is for a friend's project, but I kind of like it. It's cute. It was a rush job and maybe I'll clean up the lines, but for now, enjoy.

ROACH ROACH ROACH

2009-05-29T14:07:00.001-07:00

JOIN ROACH Teaser Trailer from Garrison Dean on Vimeo.

Not like anyone actually reads this blog over that, but whatever... Check out this new (whereever did it come from?!) organization dedicated to Supervillainy!! If I can I'll try and get an interview with their shadowy leader, The Potentate.

www.joinroach.com
www.joinroach.blogspot.com (for constant updates)

BOOM

2009-03-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

About a month and a half ago a good friend of mine came to me wondering if I could help him finish a music video he had started for a new artist. He had shot it, edited it, and it needed graphics. So I took the ball and really rolled with it. After a couple revisions it's now done and in a form that I am proud to show off to all of you. Adam, job well done. This is "Boom Kat" by KG

BOOM KAT from Adam Forstadt on Vimeo.

My Lost Theory

2009-03-05T13:20:00.001-08:00

Alright, I figure I better put this down in some form of "official" status so you all can get where I'm coming from. This is a very abbreviated version but my theory goes as such.

The island is effectively the land of the gods. It is a place that is possibly the source of their power and that is something that Science, wants to harness. Science may have come in the form of the Dharma Initiative and the Hanso Foundation which seemed to do things on the island in an experimental fashion to control in a scientific way the things that gods in their omnipotence take for granted as in teleportation, time travel, immortality etc etc. I have felt that our main group of people were people who hadn't known they were gods but were being summoned back to the island to possibly defend it from another onslaught of Science, or potentially new gods.

Much of this came from similarities to Neil Gaiman's novel American Gods. I suggest picking that up if you haven't read it. It deals with the concept of gods as tangible beings who's strength and existence depends on the level people believe in them, like Tinkerbell or Candyman. They also don't always realize who they are, weird things happen, certain people of power guide them in mysterious ways, and they often don't die. So much like Lost that I am shocked that it hasn't wound up on their "someone on the show is reading it because it means something, or we just plain like it list" which I attribute to it being too much of a clue. Or I'm just arrogant and looking too much into it.

So I came up with this theory a couple of seasons ago and as things roll on it makes more and more sense. For starters, these people clearly don't die or age. Claire was a big one as well. You think that after vanishing, losing her child, then winding up in a shack with her dead dad who she never really met would have her pretty freaked out, but it seems that she was pretty comfortable and at home almost as if some sense of purpose had been re instilled in her.

Then this season I was watching and had my Richard Alpert/R.A./ Ra flash. I realized that the eyeliner man that I had figured may have been an Egyptian god was clearly like, the Egyptian god Ra. Could Horace Goodspeed be Horus? What about the Black Woman who drugged Michael and also was a nun in Eko's childhood?

I am also wondering if Eloise is "God" and Widmore is "Satan" and they are battling for control over the old gods who now inhabit the island. But not totally sold on that one yet.

I realize at this point I'm beginning to sound like some nut with a manifesto, but I just wanted to throw it out there for you all.

Brushes

2008-12-17T11:47:00.000-08:00

I got a new program for the iPhone. It's a better painting program. It's quite nice. I still have to work on it a bit, but this is the first thing I was tossing together with it. Not bad for finger painting. The hand needs a little help.

From Webblies

A Real American Her-DOH!

2008-12-17T11:23:00.000-08:00

From Webblies

Lost Promo Pics!!

2008-12-15T20:00:00.000-08:00

Looks like they're really rolling with those product placements and merchandising to offset production costs.

From Webblies

More Disaster

2008-12-15T19:52:00.000-08:00

Heroes & Tron for your pleasure.

From Webblies

This one we chucked cause it doesn't have the full line, still like it though.

From Webblies

The winner.

From Webblies

Book's Done

2008-12-09T13:12:00.001-08:00

Family, if you're reading this, which I know you don't because well, you don't know this exists then don't worry, you have one coming. Sorry to ruin x-mas, but... for anyone else interested in peeking at it.. go ahead.

Sabine & Paul ...

By Paul & Sabine Hogan

Book Preview

Ahhhh It's a disaster!!!

2008-12-05T14:26:00.000-08:00

Hey, the internet is flooded with people overreacting about just about everything. On io9 it's about films, especially remakes, adaptations, and sequels to beloved source material. There is a tendancy for commenters, and occasionaly editors all over the webs to put forth Chicken Little cries of terror, so rather than fight with these people about letting work stand on it's own, or at least waiting to see it before shitting all over it, my buddy Plague and I devised the It's a Disaster image concept. Just post one of these on a comment board devoted to the appropriate forthcoming cinematic "Train Wreck" to hopefully put everything in perspective. I also like the fun quick/sketch design job I did on these.

For JJ Abrams Star Trek Reboot:

From Webblies

For Watchmen:

From Webblies

For Terminator:Salvation :

From Webblies

For The Day The Earth Stood Still:

From Webblies

Free?

2008-10-15T13:36:00.000-07:00

So, got laid off. Sucks because of the money, though I can't say its entirely for the worst. I've spent the last few days finishing a bunch of creative projects that I didn't have the time, nor inspiration to complete since I've started them. I've also put together a new reel. It needs some tweaking, but I have a someone who needs to see it today so it is what it is for now. Over the next couple days I'll start putting up things that I've done for your enjoyment. For now, here is the reel.

art

2008-10-08T16:38:00.000-07:00

Hey, I'm gonna try and draw more. I've fallen out of it and dangit if I'm not half bad at it and I'm starting to like computer sketching so I'll try and do more, and then post what I do here. Much of this comes from trying to use constructive downtime at work/lunch becaue the net is too slow to browse here.

Decision 08 just got tougher.

2008-08-29T09:40:00.000-07:00

Hrmmm, Barack's energy plan vs. Greenzo?

Wedding stuff to come. never fear.

Once more... With feeling. And make that feeling anger please

2008-06-08T22:27:00.000-07:00

So last week on the sites that I frequent, the buzz was all about a new Hulk trailer. They called it the Hulk "Awaken" Trailer. Now, what it turned out to be was another lack luster blah, Hulk ad with Ed Norton looking anxious, and CG Green Ed Norton running around for a splash wreckin shit. Everyone was all atwitter because it referenced the old TV show. Whatever. Cool I guess. But for me, I saw the word "Awaken" with the Hulk and mistakenly got excited that it was going to be a trailer for the Hulk that used the most Brutal fictional cartoon band EVAR, Dethklok.

I was wrong.

So I said, fuck it and did it myself. How ya like them apples.. them, greeen apples. Basically I broke down the trailers I could get a hold of and built them back up to match Dethklok's Awaken. It took a little more editing than you would think. Then I needed to fill more time so I said oooh, I can use Into the Water, which is my favorite song. It worked quite nicely. Then I tossed in some graphics that I really should've spent more time on (I like my Man, Nature, Science bit, feel free to nik that Universal) and sent it out to hopefully get more people excited for this film. Ultimately its really a 1st or 2nd draft, but what the hell, its the internet who friggin cares.

Sabine, who I dont think had much interest in seeing it before, now wants to see it. So it's worked for one person. Thats a start. Please to enjoy...

Just do it. I did.

2008-05-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

Yeah it's a lot of money... but that Tax reimbursement's gotta go somewhere. Do it for Dubbya.

Palpatine for President: Or my new reason for Hating the Sequels.

2008-03-13T19:14:00.001-07:00

Lately I have been wasting far, far too much time on a newish Gawker site called io9. io9 exists in that perfect not to hot, not too cold bowl of online porridge. Dealing with the wonderful world of Sci-Fi it never gets bogged down with the scandals and punditry of real news and the entertainment world, and it does it all with a sense of pride, fun and understanding deserving of good, old school nerds. Best of all, it is a bit lighter on the snark. They also have the usual area for me to voice my elegant opinion because I love the sound of my own voice.

Recently on the site, in this election year, there have been several polls dealing with Science Fiction and real world politics. Who's facist regime would you live under, what villain would make the best president, and so on. Understandably Star Wars rears its pretty head regularly, being somewhat of a gold standard in the world of SciFi. It has gotten me thinking. Senator, now Emperor Palpatine's Empire may have been the best of several evils.

When I was a child you could get no cooler than Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, and Han Solo. These 3 with grit, determination, and a wonderful invisible power called the force defeated a nasty horrible faceless villain hell bent on destruction and limitless power. Our hero Luke's journey was that much more difficult because Darth Vader (spoiler alert), the cold emotionless villain, was his father. He had to save and sacrifice his own blood for the good of the universe. Amazing. It even had Ewoks, who I will never apologize for because they are awesome. If you hate them, you hate them because they are small and cute. So you might as well hate other small and cute things like puppies, Dunnys and Little People. Hating little people is like hating black people ergo.. if you hate Ewoks, you're a racist shit.

Where was I? Ah yes. All of this wonder existed in a glorious universe conjured up by Lucas from his vast knowledge of mythology and literary archtypes. Taking cues from Joseph Campbell each character from R2D2 to Nien Numb existed to fill a specific purpose in his re-imagining of a time tested tale. We knew Luke was good simply because he was our main character, we knew Darth Vader was bad because he wore black (and choked people). We knew Han was a trustworthy rogue because he wore a vest. Knowing these simple unspoken truths made this a tale that sank into the public's heart for 20 years and never left. I only had trouble with the word Rebel. I didn't understand how they could be Rebels, and be good, when in all the states right below me in MD, rebel meant "people who fought the north and wanted slaves". Then I grew up. My love for the films never swayed, but the story changed, and it got me thinking... The Jedi had to go.

Now before I go on I don't want anybody bringing in arguments and plot points from the god-damn expanded universe. Star Wars begins and ends with the moving image. Yeah, that means that to me "Life Day" holds more sway than "The Sith Era" or "KOTOR". If it didn't happen on a screen that I couldn't contol... it didn't happen as far as I'm concerned.

The problem came with the prequels. Lucas began to take his mythology and explain it. Political posturing, midiclorians, trade disagreements, senate hearings. They had Terrence bloody Stamp as the leader of the Senate!!! How could that be boring?! Then we learned more, a lot more, about the Jedi. So what had been a group of cool noble laser sword weilding knights slaughtered by an evil force became a political organization of freelance soldiers imposing their religious will on the universe at war with another political force. This got the ball rolling in my head. What did the Empire do that was so bad?

V had Lizards rounding up innocent civilians and podding them for food. The Fremen in Dune are hunted for being natives to a priceless planet. Enemy Mine, slaves, At no point in the original trilogy does the empire attack someone that didn't have it coming. Oh sure, there was Aalderan. They were a peaceful planet... A peaceful planet harboring rebel fugitives and who's princess was a Rebel leader. Right or wrong, you gotta expect some blowback from that.

Where were the concentration camps? Where was the persecution? Look at Mos Eisley! The place is worse than Reno! Gin joints, hookers, fights, people of all walks of life milling about. Does the Empire care? Nope they just want the plans for their Floating Planet Smasher that they'll use to scare people into what? Paying the proper trade guild fees? Fine, here's 5 credits go blow up another planet.
And how do they go about getting the plans? Casually asking motorists. The next time you're at a traffic stop nonchalantly wave your hand and say "You don't need to search my car." See what happens. And we don't even live in a totalitarian regime.

Just take a look at it in terms of today's politics. Let's say there was a party of fight happy, organized religious nutbags ready to go anywhere and attack or invade anyone to prove that their way of thinking was the right one, would you vote for them? Or, would you vote for the other guy. The weird old guy in the hood with his shiney helmeted half robot VP who just wants a little of your money for taxes.
What about WAR "Emperor"? Not a problem we'll take care of any and all conflicts and not a single one of your sons or daughters has to die because with the taxes you are paying... Clone army... done. Not only that, but I'm guessing any political party that is cool with that level of cloning is gonna have absolutely no problem with stem-cell research.

What about Hoth, Yavin, Endor.. Those are battles buddy! Maybe they wouldn't keep trying to crush your rebellion if you weren't always trying to blow up their Not-a-moons.

And who would you want for a leader? The guy who rose through the ranks, learned his trade, built his forces and allegiances over time... Or the hick son of a lifelong politician who finally crawled his way out of the boondocks, not going to the academy, finding religion a couple decades into his life and going on a crazy crusade with a crotchety old man at his side to ruin all the hard work the government had done balancing budgets, establishing good relations with other planets and bringing all people under a united banner.

I wish I didn't think these things, but I do. All it would've taken was for Lucas to show one Gungan gas chamber, some propaganda posters in Coruscant calling for people to out their Jedish neighbors, innocents getting plucked up by the 501st and never seen again, but he didn't. He built the world as he wanted us to see it. Hell, do you know anyone other than crazed warlords who use children soldiers?! Nope. But there were the younglings ready to roll with their rat tails and light sabers. Twisted.

So this November... Vote for Palpatine. And George Lucas...stop fucking explaining everything, you're sucking all the fun out of it.

Been A While

2008-01-22T10:02:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone. A couple big things...
1. I turned my lovely girlfriend into my lovely fiancee.

2. I have a steady Job as a Senior Designer for a media company. We worked in Vegas doing the Keynote for Bill Gates at CES. It was very very tiring. Here are pics.

3. I did #1 in Holland over the Holidays... here are those pics...

4. We just bought a massive TV thanks to our friend Corey. Pics to come of that, but take my word that I'm glad Blu-Ray is winning. Holy crap is it awesome.

5. Thanks to the recently released sketch I solved the Madeline McCann case.

More to come soon. Maybe even some more Slander Panda. I've been busy, sorry :(

-P

god, who will I vote for this November!?! wait, next November? Seriously? that far off? Fuucck

2007-06-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

Hc619-tm

Oh thats so cute that they had the time to do that. She's really touching on the issues that matter, you know like what crap song she's going to pick, and what the country thought about how the Sopranos ended (poorly). Thank god she doesn't have to deal with a war, or corruption, of healthcare, or racism, or equal rights, or genocide in foreign countries, so that she can show us that she is just like us because she can post videos on the internet. Good move, I now can take her just as seriously as I do guys who drop Mentos into soda bottles, or guys who dry hump furniture.
Do people actually fall for this shit? I mean really... is generation X, Y, and i, so gullible that they fall for political internet chicanery like this or 70 year old men having myspace pages? I'll tell you one thing if Ron Paul wasn't a politcial candidate he could very well expect a visit from Chris Hansen.

Sorry Hilary, we love Bill but thats where it ends.

Episode IV: you know the rest

2007-06-08T12:41:00.000-07:00

Haha back to jail. I created that card above if you want to send her your love.

Thing # 36 that I don't miss about LA

2007-06-07T10:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, they let Paris Hilton out. Apparently because she was ill. See Charles Manson? All those fuckin parole hearings and you never thought to develop a cough. I pray this dumb vapid walking staph infection gets drunk, hops into her Bently and plows through a middle school cross walk, just so someone, anyone, can learn about cause and effect. I don't think people realize what an inspiration this woman is for little girls. ahhhh, sigh... maybe I'll update more, but I'm sure I'd just be writing what you're thinking anyways.

*addition*
This is a response I posted somewhere to someone making a comment saying that -
"How many people died in Bagdhad yesterday? Do you people really want to riot over Paris Hilton? Gawd, get a life. Just sayin...."

-It pisses me off because this is as much a product of our culture of lack of culpability as the war in Iraq. The past few years we have developed a society where flaunting money, criminal and unethical behavior, and a general lack of respect for anyone you consider less than yourself, has become not only accepted but praised. Most of us here saw someone who is a figurehead for this selfish movement possibly facing consequences for their actions and we were excited that society was possibly doing something right. And we were let down. So if we can't punish a celebrity for flagrantly breaking the law, what hope does an Iraqi child have for someone in our government bothering to take responsibility for their fate. Its a shallow analogy that we are making here, but its a shallow country we live in.

Calling all art snobs

2007-05-29T17:25:00.000-07:00

Short little thing. This weekend Sabine and I found this at a flea market. We still need to frame it but it looks pretty sharp. People have said it looks like Peter Max, but who knows... Actually yeah, who knows. Anyone know who the artist is on this? We wonder if its worth anything so we can not sell it, but take pride in knowing that we paid less than we should have for it. Like how I found RJD2's "Deadringer" and "Since We Last Spoke" on vinyl at a thrift store for 99c each... kick ass.

Just when I thought they may get cool again...

2007-05-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

My oh my, I've heard of some horrible ad campaings, but DR Martens seems fit to take any credibility they had by throwing musical icons under the double decker bus. please take a gander...

Fred Astaire dancing with a vacuum cleaner, and remixing singing in the rain (still awesome) are one thing, but to take "Punk" figureheads, a movement based around eschewing commercialism and capitalist ideas of money over art (while still conforming to a rigid, almost fascist, sense of fashion and musical taste), and turning their unfortunate young demise into a billboard for the official shoe of the subculture is more or less a lesson in how to lose a demographic. I will say though that I have a feeling that the Hot Topic crowd who weren't old enough to pay attention and mourn for these people will probably be scouring stores for these posters to put on their dorm room wall in a year or two. This lack of respect for what made artists who they are is how you end up with Bob Marley's only fans being frat-boys and The Clash being covered on American Idol. Which brings me to what really pisses me off about this campaign.

JOE STRUMMER?!! The rest are good, classics, but way overrated icons who were in the right place at the right time, and lets face it, would probably have sold out like this had they lived.

Joey Ramone... I think Ramones shirts are 2nd only to CBGB shirts in the "Purchases that the Purchasee had no idea what was on their shirt".

Sid Vicious was a lucky hack druggie in a boy band that only gained street cred through his death and the fear of middle aged brits. Their music is so flimsy that while we can look back on the Clash and still see great albums we look back at their one album (yeah they only had one) and say... It's cool, they're like the Monkees of punk. They sure could curse on live TV well, but all their songs sound kind of similar.

Kurt Cobain was married to Courtney Love and wrote her only marginally good album. Hmmm guy gets rich and sucker marries the first dumb slutty blonde that comes along and then gives her his soul. That is so not a sellout move that hasn't been done by every rockstar/actor/director/sports figure in history who made a little money. Then he kills himself, biggest sellout move of all.

So all those guys clearly had a moment in the sun, Cobain probably being the most talented, but all of them wishy washy pop subculture figures. But Joe Strummer was a musical genius. This last albums were as good as his work with The Clash, and his death was truly a tragedy. He was a musician and a song writer, not a fashion accessory for disaffected youth. I don't know who sold out his estate like this but unless it was to pay off any outstanding debts he may have left behind you should be ashamed. And whoever the graphic designer was who did these posters... Fuck you Too, you could've at least not made them look like giant floating gays. Let's say Sid did make it to heaven (doubtful but for the sake of argument), wouldn't it be a better pic to have him bloody and punching Jesus?! Seems like a more appropriate image from the man in the band who's most famous lyric is "I am the anti-christ".

I lost my moral compass!!!

2007-04-26T16:24:00.000-07:00

Jack Valenti was rated R for Really Dead today. The hairy Mr. Burns up there is the reason most of the movies you see aren't nearly as good as they could be. Check this to see why.

Nathan Fillion... The 21st Century Ted Mcginley: Or Why Do I Even Bother Watching New Shows?

2007-04-25T18:24:00.000-07:00

Son of a bitch....
I had a post all ready to review my favorite new show "Drive" on Fox. It is fun, a mix of Lost and Cannonball Run, and reminiscent of the old family action shows of the early 80's like Dukes of Hazzard and Knight Rider.

Well after 3 nights (4 episodes) Fox Yanked it. So much for the old college try. Who to blame? The American public for not watching? The inabilty of the Nielsens to account for tivo, ipod, and well... viewers? The fact that the producers tried to pass off a mile long stretch of Southern California highway as the east coast? (Florida looks nothing like Georgia, and they all have a little something called trees)
Noooo I'm going to blame Nathan Fillion. And I am going to dub him the Ted McGinley of the 00's. As you may know Mr. McGinley is considered something of a curse on the entertainment landscape. The personification of Jumping The Shark, when he arrived on a show, it pretty much signaled that program's doom.
Well as much as I love Nathan Fillion, he's good lookin, talented, has "it", he can't carry a program or a movie to and sort of decent success. Firefly, Slither, Serenity, Drive, all should've been moderate hits.... Hell he even popped up on Lost right before that began to take a little nose dive (great episode last night though). I don't know what advice I can give to someone who is seemingly cursed, other than maybe you should dig your feet into the warm sand that is Basic Cable, let someone on Spike, SciFi or FX give you your own show because for gods sake, STAY OFF ENSEMBLES.

later.

Ooooh Cheeky... It's the Slander Panda!!!

2007-04-25T10:07:00.000-07:00

Great, now there will never be a decent movie.

2007-04-24T15:22:00.000-07:00

I guess he's never been the same since Bucky died.

suddenly.... the wheels are in frickin motion.

2007-04-24T10:09:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm older you look back at people you knew in high school and say, "Oh my god, they must have been gay!!! That explains everything!" Or now you meet a guy who may be a friend's boyfriend and he makes no bones about being into musicals, or Grey's Anatomy, or he mentions he really misses Sex And The City, and you roll your eyes and say to yourself, "for his sake and hers I hope he figures it out soon."
That being said I want to reinforce that I am 100% pure grade A+ dudeness. I can't really stand most broadway musicals, I am not homophobic (that shows I am not gay right? I mean I have gay friends, but they aren't like super close friends, but you get it.), and I love slaying ladybits. So never mind that I found this bit of news out from Perez Hilton, and that it pretty much negates all the above statements...

THERE IS A BROADWAY XANADU MUSICAL COMING OUT SOON!!!!

Um yeah, totally. Now for the uninformed this seems like pointless jibber jabber, but please understand that in the history of fucked up, crazy ass films that miss the mark so badly that they bullseye another target this one takes the cake. From the Producer who brought you The Matrix and Lethal Weapon, and the Director of Outfoxed comes a musical with songs by ELO. I know... How could it be bad?! In my mind it happened like this... Joel Silver was a producer on The Warriors and asked it's star Michael Beck if he wanted to make another movie. Michael said,
"Sure man, The Warriors was a great experience and a badass movie, I'm totally down for another one... what's this one about?"
"It's called Xanadu"
"Oh cool man, what's it, about ancient warriors, Kubla Kahn, all that stuff?"
"Close... It's a musical about a Greek muse who inspires an man who repaints album covers for records stores to open a roller rink. And there's gonna be an animated sequence"
"Ummm.."
"We'll shoot in in L.A. and be high on blow the whole time"
"I'M THERE"

And thus Xanadu is born. I could keep going, but you really should experience it yourself. You probably won't be able to sit through the whole thing in one sitting, but when you do finish it, it will be your favorite movie.
So after The Producers, Hairspray, and any other number of great movies that get farted out and gayed up on Broadway there is no way they could ruin this. Who's with me!?

some wonderful Xanadu stuff.

weird
love the Japanese (not the one above)
I was still in LA, and really sorry I missed this.

2007-04-20T11:25:00.000-07:00

This week Poet/Hip Hopper Saul Williams (who I thought was from DC, but apparently not) wrote an open letter to Oprah after her show on Hip Hop. I didn't see all of it, I don't know everything he's talking about other than it looks like its the same shit that all the other scared confused old people talk about whenever a youth culture movement becomes prevalent whether it is Hip Hop now, or Rock & Roll in the 50's or Jazz in the 30's. This ____ is dangerous to society. Whatever. Ask an Iraqi child walking down the street whether they care if Don Imus or Dr Dre says Ho, Bitch or Nigga(er), but ask them quick before they're kidnapped or killed.
My beef is with the main Black Crusader (Tracy Jordan I've got you) herself. I think she can do great work, I think she can inspire people. I also think she's a hippocrite. I say this not blindly, as working on a talk show for several years, every day at 3pm all tv's in the office turned to channel 7 to watch (and ultimately rip off) what she was doing. Sometimes I enjoyed it, but mainly it was so difficult to watch her smugly slither her way through topics, shunning any possible view but her own. At least on The View that nut ball Hassleback gets to speak a little. So here is my very short letter to Oprah

Dear Oprah,
How is a young man supposed to distingush between a woman in a video having cash thrown at her ass in a bathing suit, and with Kirstie Alley, a paid spokeswoman for Jenny Craig (are women supposed to lose weight, or be happy with who they are, thats another thing), coming on to your show and prancing around in a bikini? How do you reconcile your supposed charitable nature with the fact that you own 9 homes (At my last count) , one of which you paid 50 million dollars for, 30 million over the appraised price because it just wasn't for sale. How do you tell women and men (James Frey I'm looking at you) to be honest and open with themselves and others while seemingly living a closeted gay lifestyle. How can you say you opened a school in South Africa rather than America because you feel kids in America wouldn't say they wanted an education over an iPod or shoes, implying that American children are overly materialistic, and then do an hour long program devoted to how you couldn't buy several thousand dollar handbags at Hermes after they closed? Please understand that you put forth many confliciting images on your program, which some less kind people may use to call you a hipocrite. No me though. I understand that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and that you live in several houses made of diamonds so throw whatever the hell you want.
With loving kindess..... Paul Dean Garrison Hogan

word.

The Slander Panda!!!!

2007-04-18T09:38:00.000-07:00

Today we premier our first report from The Slander Panda. Born and raised in captivity in the West Hollywood Zoo, in a cage decorated by Bobby Trendy (it's horribly our of fashion and he hates it) he hears all and sees all from the celebrities and industry big shots that frequent the zoo with their families. Families of course are foreign born children and dogs under 10 pounds. Once a week he escapes and goes to Bear night at The Abbey. While out he gets us our weekly dish on all the sneaky hush hush off the record truths crawling under the gilded rug of Tinsel Town, before going back to his plush cage.

So Now I present.... The Slander Panda!!! It's all 100% true, and verified, so eat it lawers! Try and sue a marsupial.

Buy This.

2007-04-17T14:06:00.000-07:00

IGNORE ME!!!!

Being Awesome is not a Crime.

2007-04-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

This is the first of hopefully many mix tapes I hope to bring to you on Pretension. I have a couple of turntables and a mixer, and yes a microphone, although I rarely use that as I find white people speaking in DJ sets, no matter how cool, always sound like wedding DJ's. I am no master driver of the wheels of steel, but I can hold my own with music selection and general kick assedness. Now I really love spinning old Jazz, Funk, and Psyche/Prog stuff, but I love all music. So I hope to share with you a sampling of all of it.

So rather than make an iTunes mix which is impersonal, easy, and expected I hooked up my mixer to a Mac and started spinning. This was true linear editing. Like a mix tape, if you wanted to change anything at the beginning, tough noogies, you're out of luck. So I had been planning on making some mix that would wow you with my knowledge of Deep Funk, or rare psyche albums that would drop some serious grooves into your soul... but then my friend sent me this article. It is Rolling Stone's list of 25 Greatest Guilty Pleasure Bands. It includes ELO, Rush, Bon Jovi, America, Hall & Oates, and a ton of other great albeit "un-hip" bands. I am assuming lists like this are part of Rolling Stone's and Jan Wenner's attempt at "Hipifying" their dinosaur of a publication. The first part of that was clearly by displaying that they can be cynical, uninformed, youthful shitheads to just like those kids bloggin on the internet. They did that with that abhorrent reality show. The 2nd part is clearly to marginalize the historical bands that built Rolling Stone.

This is what's wrong with indie kids today, and kids in general. No understanding of musical history. Or history period. You don't get Arcade Fire's big sound without the sweeping grandure of ELO. You don't get Gym Class Hero's (the Fall Out Boy of hip-hop) without Supertramp. And you don't get anywhere in music by shutting out or shitting on any band without experiencing it for yourself. I did that for a while, it got me nowhere. Is there bad music out there? Oh yeah. Are there bad bands on that list? My god yes. Would I mock someone and think less of them for listening to it? Possibly, but thats only because I can be a jackass. But in reality if it works for you, love it, dig it, play it, dance to it, whatever.

That's why this past Saturday afternoon when I was gearing up to attempt to record a hipster set of tunes I was messing around with some of my less cool records and I was playing a 10cc song I hadn't heard in forever. I thought of this list from the day before, started the song over again, hit record, and threw on tunes for the next 54 minutes that I would be proud to burst out of my car at high volume. There are some skips, a couple shitty fades, and the sound blows out on some songs, but hey... when were mix tapes, real mix tapes, ever perfect.

So put this on and remember... You Have Nothing To Feel Guilty For

oh yeah, and I did a little cover art for it too.

-P

That's a Hell of a Hat That Your Wearing

2007-04-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

I have some fun movie reviews and all that shit coming later today or tomorrow, but I just want to take a second and toss in my two cents about this Virginia Tech thing.

When 9-11 happened, we stopped air travel for a while. When we thought that terrorists would bomb planes with bottles of water, lotions, perfume and the like... we banned them from planes. If a car or dog food is hazardous, they do a recall. So I can only assume that when a man goes in and kills 33 people with a couple of handguns that they'll probably ban that as well. In fact I will go so far as to say that they first presidential candidate that stands up in the next couple of days and doesn't spew forth the clichéd rhetoric of sorrow, God, and sadness but rather stands on the senate floor, or at a podium in Middletown, America and looks straight at the camera angry as hell and says that we have to get rid of guns... I'll vote for them. I keep seeing the news people try to draw comparisons between all the mass murders of the past 50 years. They are lonley, men, depressed, reclusive, lack empathy, blah blah blah... They also all carried guns. I doubt this Korean guy could've run into these rooms and stabbed 30 people to death. I don't think that you could throw baseball bats from a clock tower in Texas and take off someone's head. So unless you want to ban lonley people, putting the internet out of business, or ban men, which would do wonders for my social life, you're going to have to ban Guns.

And a letter to the media.
This is a tragedy, treat it appropriately, give it coverage, give it respect, and realize in the future that last week you gave the same amount of coverage for a crazy old man that insulted a basketball team that never would've heard his insults if you hadn't made a story out of it. I hope this give you some frame of reference. Cenile Racists and Baby Daddy's aren't worthy of 24 hour news coverage. And drawing blood from a stone doesn't count as coverage either. Thanks.